I need that like a hole in the head, but we saw these absolutely adorable mixed breed puppies when we were rummaging yesterday. They were supposed to be some kind of toy size dogs and were so soft and cute and I KNOW that Elvis would love a playmate-Don't you think? But, I didn't do it-They were $300.00 (Which is pretty outrageous for a mistake puppy) and I just don't have the time to do a puppy right now- it is so much work to make sure they get enough attention and don't chew everything in sight and don't pee and poop everywhere. So....sadly, I did not bring one home.
They cut the big willow down today. It was across the street from us and was measured last year as one of the largest weeping willows in Wisconsin. But, alas and alack-it has had too much storm damage this year. 3 times big branches fell off-the last time, it fell all the way across the road and would not have been good if someone were driving by at that time. It looks very strange without that tree.
We are not doing anything special for the holiday weekend. I will probably take Larry and Elvis for a drive on one of the days. We all love to do that-so, that is the tentative plan. That and brats and corn on the cob and watermelon.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Five, Six -Pick up Sticks
And that is what we are doing today. I have to pick up branches and sticks after the rain and wind yesterday. It got really windy-real fast. Katie said that the wind blew a whole bunch of piers down on the lake and that there were pier sections and boats floating everywhere after the storm passed.
We are then going over to help Jim and Evie pick up branches and sticks at their house. We'll meet them at 9:30 and hopefully be done by 11:00 because the weatherman (Who, by the way is not right a lot) said very hot and humid today. It should be a nice morning for Larry and Evie to sit out under the trees with Elvis while Jim and I do the raking and whatever else needs to be cleaned up.
You can tell that I live a life of excitement and danger, can't you?
Oh and another storm is supposed to come through tonight.
We are then going over to help Jim and Evie pick up branches and sticks at their house. We'll meet them at 9:30 and hopefully be done by 11:00 because the weatherman (Who, by the way is not right a lot) said very hot and humid today. It should be a nice morning for Larry and Evie to sit out under the trees with Elvis while Jim and I do the raking and whatever else needs to be cleaned up.
You can tell that I live a life of excitement and danger, can't you?
Oh and another storm is supposed to come through tonight.
Monday, August 27, 2007
The Cat's in the Bag
Max is my handsome boy- the lone male cat amongst all the females. He is a sweetheart, but likes to get into stuff. He knows how to get into my kitchen cupboards and will search the shelves for his toy mice and knock them out of the cupboard to play with. He doesn't take all of them- just one.
Today, I hung a monster tote on the door handle to put packages in to go to the post office. Max thinks this is a toy and has been trying to get into the bag all day. I bet that when I come out to the kitchen later on, he will be snuggled into the bag. None of the cats like expensive toys-I've spent lots of money on cat items and find that their favorites are boxes and bags. Go figure.
Lar had a good day at dialysis today. No puking, no nausea. He's awake and alert. He is even eating dinner.
The turkeys were strutting across the parking lot when we got there. They have 5 babies and are hilarious to watch. I wonder where they live? Do they have a turkey house around there somewhere? Hmmmm.....
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Need For Physical Therapy
We have had problems with Larry's balance and muscle tone for the last couple of years. After his heart attack, he was pretty weak and even though he went to cardiac rehab, he wasn't nearly as strong as he was before. And this is to be expected....you are sick to the point of almost dying, and in the hospital for 18 days flat on your back, you are going to be physically compromised for quite a while. Larry has never understood this- he felt that he should have been able to get back to where he was before without a problem, so therefore, his health problems are alot more serious than anyone is telling him and he will just sit and feel sorry for himself. And when he feels sorry for himself.........he moans....LOUDLY......frequently. OHHHHH!!!!WOOOEEEEE!!! OHHH!!!! I do not like the moaning, because how can I tell when he really has a problem if he moans all the time? And besides, after awhile, it really gets on your nerves. HE had heard somewhere that a good moan makes you feel better and ever since reading that has implemented the theory frequently. But, I digress.
That spring after he was done with Cardiac rehab, all of a sudden (it seemed) he knees started buckling and he was falling down. So off to the Dr. and we do rehab for 4 weeks at the hospital to regain balance, etc. They never figure out why he was falling down.
We finish rehab and it starts to happen again! I myself personally think it was because he was not continuing doing his exercises and when you don't have any muscle tone, you can't afford to slack off- but, hey, that was just my opinion. So back to the Dr. who now refers us to an orthopedic specialist. We go in and they have no idea why his knee is giving out. So she gives him a brace and stars therapy again, this time not only working his legs, but also his shoulder (Which had gotten screwed up by a home therapist when he first came home). We went to therapy 2 times a week for 2 months and he really made progress and was walking really well. Had good balance again. Knee seemed to hold him. But, Those girls worked him hard and guilted him into doing his work at home every day.
Well, then, we had the leg amputated a couple of months latter. That means more therapy. First he had therapy to learn how to move around and hop on the one foot. It really is way different than hopping with both feet because you have to center that leg under your body. Then, he had therapy to learn how to walk with his prosthesis and did fantastic! He really does walk well for an 81 year old guy with a fake leg.
He has been done with therapy for exactly a year and I think he has to go back in and work on the leg muscles and shoulders again. He has been going to dialysis and felt so crappy for so long and I didn't have the heart to make him do his exercises on top of everything else. So he has definitely gotten weaker. And his protein levels are really low, which means muscle loss.
He won't listen to me at all and just gets angry when I ask him if he did his exercises. And gets angry and defensive if I tell him that he is not walking correctly and is going to wind up nose first on the floor (Which almost happened the other day-You can't push the walker way out in front of you) He needs to get some safety reminders and strengthening, so, I am going to call the Dr. and see if she can write a prescription for it. I got the evil eye when I told him that that was what I was going to do. Then I asked him-" OK, so you don't want to go for therapy. Do you just want to sit and get weaker and move less and less? Do you want to give up? That is OK if you do. You have worked hard and I know that you get tired and discouraged. But, do you really want to just stop trying? " I think that he just gets discouraged and it seems like he goes forward a step and then back a step. Life is like that . He was so fortunate all of his life. He was never really sick before and his life was always pretty easy. It has given him a skewed picture of how easy everything should be and if it isn't he doesn't want to do it. Sometimes, we all have to do things that we would rather not. They can turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us. They make us look at ourselves and how we interact with others.
I think that if you are alive, then you should live- experience- have fun- love- laugh-if you can't do what you were able to do before, do something else! Life is a gift- a precious gift. Too precious to waste with moaning and groaning and complaining. To precious to stop living just because everything isn't perfectly the way you envisioned it.
And by the way, the sun is out and it is gorgeous! I just came in a while ago to get Larry up from his nap and I think that I'll walk after dinner!
That spring after he was done with Cardiac rehab, all of a sudden (it seemed) he knees started buckling and he was falling down. So off to the Dr. and we do rehab for 4 weeks at the hospital to regain balance, etc. They never figure out why he was falling down.
We finish rehab and it starts to happen again! I myself personally think it was because he was not continuing doing his exercises and when you don't have any muscle tone, you can't afford to slack off- but, hey, that was just my opinion. So back to the Dr. who now refers us to an orthopedic specialist. We go in and they have no idea why his knee is giving out. So she gives him a brace and stars therapy again, this time not only working his legs, but also his shoulder (Which had gotten screwed up by a home therapist when he first came home). We went to therapy 2 times a week for 2 months and he really made progress and was walking really well. Had good balance again. Knee seemed to hold him. But, Those girls worked him hard and guilted him into doing his work at home every day.
Well, then, we had the leg amputated a couple of months latter. That means more therapy. First he had therapy to learn how to move around and hop on the one foot. It really is way different than hopping with both feet because you have to center that leg under your body. Then, he had therapy to learn how to walk with his prosthesis and did fantastic! He really does walk well for an 81 year old guy with a fake leg.
He has been done with therapy for exactly a year and I think he has to go back in and work on the leg muscles and shoulders again. He has been going to dialysis and felt so crappy for so long and I didn't have the heart to make him do his exercises on top of everything else. So he has definitely gotten weaker. And his protein levels are really low, which means muscle loss.
He won't listen to me at all and just gets angry when I ask him if he did his exercises. And gets angry and defensive if I tell him that he is not walking correctly and is going to wind up nose first on the floor (Which almost happened the other day-You can't push the walker way out in front of you) He needs to get some safety reminders and strengthening, so, I am going to call the Dr. and see if she can write a prescription for it. I got the evil eye when I told him that that was what I was going to do. Then I asked him-" OK, so you don't want to go for therapy. Do you just want to sit and get weaker and move less and less? Do you want to give up? That is OK if you do. You have worked hard and I know that you get tired and discouraged. But, do you really want to just stop trying? " I think that he just gets discouraged and it seems like he goes forward a step and then back a step. Life is like that . He was so fortunate all of his life. He was never really sick before and his life was always pretty easy. It has given him a skewed picture of how easy everything should be and if it isn't he doesn't want to do it. Sometimes, we all have to do things that we would rather not. They can turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us. They make us look at ourselves and how we interact with others.
I think that if you are alive, then you should live- experience- have fun- love- laugh-if you can't do what you were able to do before, do something else! Life is a gift- a precious gift. Too precious to waste with moaning and groaning and complaining. To precious to stop living just because everything isn't perfectly the way you envisioned it.
And by the way, the sun is out and it is gorgeous! I just came in a while ago to get Larry up from his nap and I think that I'll walk after dinner!
Friday, August 24, 2007
I need the Sun!
It seems like the rain will never end, so I just had to put in a couple of pictures of my gardens. It was sunny and nice the day that I took the pictures......not grey.....and gloooomy. Sigh....It is good for the garden and the trees. But, I am really ready for some sun and a day to have Larry sit outside. The weatherman says tomorrow, and I am holding him to it!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Elder Care- For Me and my Friends
My friend Fran is about 10 years older than me and has been planning for when we all get old. No nursing home for us! She is changing her place over, little by little to accommodate a bunch of old ladies. She is putting in a chair lift, a handicap bathtub (With the wall that opens so you don't have to step over the edge and sit in a yawning hole and try to get out of said hole whilest you are slippery and nekked). Then we just have to hire a few people to come in and check on us and we should be good to go. Hopefully this is all a long time in the future- but what got us thinking about it is our own parents.
None of them had any plans except-we are not going into a nursing home and we are staying in the house until they pry our cold, dead bodies out.
This is all well and good and you really, really try to help them stay independent, but sometimes- as with Fran's Dad- there is nothing that you can do. His Alzheimer's got so bad after their Mom died that they couldn't leave him in the family home. He was adamant that he was not going to any of their houses, and really, how could he? He needed alot more care than any of them could give at the time with full-time jobs. So they had to get him into an assisted living place and in not too long a time span, had to move him to the Alzheimer's wing.
No one wants to think about getting old and loosing your independence, but, if you don't do it yourself, someone will have to do it for you- Then your choices are limited. They may not do things the way you want them done. The family has to rush with getting you placed and into somewhere....
Mom's cousin Jim and his wife Evie are 91 and 90 years young. They have lived independently at their home all this time. This spring, Evie had a slight stroke, that she recovered from beautifully, but her heart is not so good and her Alzheimers has gotten worse-especially sometimes at night- and the doctors and their daughters decided-"No More Living at Home Alone!" PERIOD-End of Story- No arguments- No discussion- You are going into an assisted living home.
Evie went right from the rehab center to an interim apartment. Their daughter took off of work for several weeks and came down and got everything set up- got the house cleaned out- then got them moved over. She did a yoeman's job in a short period of time, that is for sure. But, my point is, if they had thought ahead and talked about it and started to decide what was what, it would have been so much less traumatic for them. Their plan was- Hopefully both of us will die together in our sleep. Not too much of a plan.
I think that too many people tie their independence to their house, when really, a house as you get older becomes so much work. You have to clean it and maintain it and pay taxes and insurance. When you are in great health and feeling good, sometimes it seems overwhelming. Add a little financial stress because you are on a fixed income and the roof needs to be replaced and the yard needs to be mowed again and you have multiple health issues now, so you don't have the energy to do the small things, much less any larger projects....
Larry's friends who have made the change, by themselves before they had too, are so much happier than the ones who are struggling to keep the house maintained and have no money left over to do anything else.
So, Fran's plan seems like a winner! If I'm still blogging at that way in the future point, I'll let you know how it works out!
None of them had any plans except-we are not going into a nursing home and we are staying in the house until they pry our cold, dead bodies out.
This is all well and good and you really, really try to help them stay independent, but sometimes- as with Fran's Dad- there is nothing that you can do. His Alzheimer's got so bad after their Mom died that they couldn't leave him in the family home. He was adamant that he was not going to any of their houses, and really, how could he? He needed alot more care than any of them could give at the time with full-time jobs. So they had to get him into an assisted living place and in not too long a time span, had to move him to the Alzheimer's wing.
No one wants to think about getting old and loosing your independence, but, if you don't do it yourself, someone will have to do it for you- Then your choices are limited. They may not do things the way you want them done. The family has to rush with getting you placed and into somewhere....
Mom's cousin Jim and his wife Evie are 91 and 90 years young. They have lived independently at their home all this time. This spring, Evie had a slight stroke, that she recovered from beautifully, but her heart is not so good and her Alzheimers has gotten worse-especially sometimes at night- and the doctors and their daughters decided-"No More Living at Home Alone!" PERIOD-End of Story- No arguments- No discussion- You are going into an assisted living home.
Evie went right from the rehab center to an interim apartment. Their daughter took off of work for several weeks and came down and got everything set up- got the house cleaned out- then got them moved over. She did a yoeman's job in a short period of time, that is for sure. But, my point is, if they had thought ahead and talked about it and started to decide what was what, it would have been so much less traumatic for them. Their plan was- Hopefully both of us will die together in our sleep. Not too much of a plan.
I think that too many people tie their independence to their house, when really, a house as you get older becomes so much work. You have to clean it and maintain it and pay taxes and insurance. When you are in great health and feeling good, sometimes it seems overwhelming. Add a little financial stress because you are on a fixed income and the roof needs to be replaced and the yard needs to be mowed again and you have multiple health issues now, so you don't have the energy to do the small things, much less any larger projects....
Larry's friends who have made the change, by themselves before they had too, are so much happier than the ones who are struggling to keep the house maintained and have no money left over to do anything else.
So, Fran's plan seems like a winner! If I'm still blogging at that way in the future point, I'll let you know how it works out!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
We're Not in Kansas Anymore!
Holy Moly! We are having some wild weather tonight! Wind and rain and thunder and lightening. The huge tree across the street came down across the road. Fortunately, no one was under it! I am going to go dig out flash lights and candles just in case. Whee-Hah! I had to take Elvis out for a potty break and I felt like we were in a tornado! Hold on El! I don't think we are in Kansas anymore! We just needed a witch flying by on her broomstick. No leisurely strolls around the yard tonight before bedtime.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Door County to Travis
Well, we made it to Door. Katie, Jake, Larry, Elvis and myself. It was pretty cool up there-64 degrees and very windy, but, at least it wasn't raining. The booth was a mess, which is good because that means we were selling stuff! Larry was pretty pooped by the time we got home and could barely walk from the kitchen to his bedroom to lay down.
At least it isn't raining at the moment and if I wasn't so burnt out from driving all day, I'd go out and mow because the grass has grown about 6 inches in the past few days! Hopefully it will still be dry tomorrow and I can git 'er done...
A big hello to Travis down in Atlanta, sweating his buns off at school. As you may remember, if you have been reading along, Travis is my sister Katie's oldest son and he is off at graduate school in Atlanta. School started for him yesterday and it is definitely a different campus than Whitewater. Quite an adventure! I think that he will have a blast! We are very proud of him!
Time for Jammies.
At least it isn't raining at the moment and if I wasn't so burnt out from driving all day, I'd go out and mow because the grass has grown about 6 inches in the past few days! Hopefully it will still be dry tomorrow and I can git 'er done...
A big hello to Travis down in Atlanta, sweating his buns off at school. As you may remember, if you have been reading along, Travis is my sister Katie's oldest son and he is off at graduate school in Atlanta. School started for him yesterday and it is definitely a different campus than Whitewater. Quite an adventure! I think that he will have a blast! We are very proud of him!
Time for Jammies.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Holy! Moly! Break out the Ark!
Whew doggie! I am not complaining, we needed the rain, But Lordy, Lordy! We have water! And some places across the state are literally floating. Our house is on a hill, so we are OK, but sometimes the lower part of the barn floods out. That would make Phrog very sad because he has a lot of his tools stashed out there that he isn't using on this job that he is doing. At least it appears that the rain is stopping here.
Lar had dialysis this am. He was so cold when I went to get him that he was shaking and could barely stand. This apparently is a pretty common problem with dialysis. You have to sit there not moving for 3-4 hours -Not counting the time to connect and disconnect and stop the bleeding if you are using a fistula. The rooms are kind of cool because the workers can't have the heat really cranked up or they will keel over, and it is summer right now, so the air conditioning is going. Everyone has blankets and pillows that they bring- Larry's is a very heavy serape from Mexico. It is very warm and keeps out drafts. They also have extra blankets at the clinic and the girls really make an effort to try to keep everyone comfortable and warm. Sometimes, nothing helps and he is frozen by the time he is ready to leave and shivering like a leaf in the wind and then I just get him home and tuck him into his bed with the electric blanket turned on high.
He is feeling better now and just had lunch. And kept it down-YAY
We got the van loaded to drive up to Door County tomorrow. It's a long day of driving, but he loves to come along, so we'll get up and be out the door with Elvis in tow, hopefully at 7:30 and head north. We all really miss the place that we had in Door. Larry especially misses all the things that he and Mom did while they were up there. They would go to Krist's Grocery Store in Sister Bay for breakfast- no, it wasn't my favorite thing either, but, at 75, those $1.75 breakfasts were what they loved. We all loved the rummages up there. Got lots of great stuff for cheap! They have fantastic parks-state and county, wonderful gardens, tons of shops, ice cream places in several towns, golf courses , an outdoor movie theater and of course, Mom and Lar had many friends up there. We will just wing up, unload the van, re-do the booth and head back down. If we have time we will swing up and around the horn and back down the other side of the peninsula, but it just depends on how the day runs. We shoot to get home by 7:00 pm-that is a long enough day for Larry. If we go too much longer, he gets too tired and we can tell for the next few days that he over did it.
So much for today! Time to work on ebay-
Lar had dialysis this am. He was so cold when I went to get him that he was shaking and could barely stand. This apparently is a pretty common problem with dialysis. You have to sit there not moving for 3-4 hours -Not counting the time to connect and disconnect and stop the bleeding if you are using a fistula. The rooms are kind of cool because the workers can't have the heat really cranked up or they will keel over, and it is summer right now, so the air conditioning is going. Everyone has blankets and pillows that they bring- Larry's is a very heavy serape from Mexico. It is very warm and keeps out drafts. They also have extra blankets at the clinic and the girls really make an effort to try to keep everyone comfortable and warm. Sometimes, nothing helps and he is frozen by the time he is ready to leave and shivering like a leaf in the wind and then I just get him home and tuck him into his bed with the electric blanket turned on high.
He is feeling better now and just had lunch. And kept it down-YAY
We got the van loaded to drive up to Door County tomorrow. It's a long day of driving, but he loves to come along, so we'll get up and be out the door with Elvis in tow, hopefully at 7:30 and head north. We all really miss the place that we had in Door. Larry especially misses all the things that he and Mom did while they were up there. They would go to Krist's Grocery Store in Sister Bay for breakfast- no, it wasn't my favorite thing either, but, at 75, those $1.75 breakfasts were what they loved. We all loved the rummages up there. Got lots of great stuff for cheap! They have fantastic parks-state and county, wonderful gardens, tons of shops, ice cream places in several towns, golf courses , an outdoor movie theater and of course, Mom and Lar had many friends up there. We will just wing up, unload the van, re-do the booth and head back down. If we have time we will swing up and around the horn and back down the other side of the peninsula, but it just depends on how the day runs. We shoot to get home by 7:00 pm-that is a long enough day for Larry. If we go too much longer, he gets too tired and we can tell for the next few days that he over did it.
So much for today! Time to work on ebay-
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Larry & Type 2 Diabetes
It was back in the early 90s, when Larry was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. The Dr. prescribed Metformin and exercise and sent them on their way, without any other info. They really never did anything different.... Mom thought that diabetes meant cutting all the sweets out of your diet, so this was their main plan. They both had a carb heavy diet of bread and pasta. They ate almost all prepared foods (frozen or packaged, if it came prepared, it was Gold for them!) And Mom told Larry to just ignore all the sweets in the house and he could have a little sugar free treat at night after dinner. RIGHT...we know how that went. Larry ate whatever he wanted and Mom never paid attention to the disappearing food, so his A1Cs always came back high and they kept increasing his metformin.
When Katie and I started to go to Door County to help with the shop, we made real, balanced meals from scratch- every day. There are too many empty calories and garbage in all of that packaged food. We also started to try to help with Larry's diabetes control. Unfortunately, none of us knew anything about it and when Mom got a tester, we tested his blood sugar like every 2 weeks (The strips were expensive! And she said this was OK) We still were trying to just cut back on the sugar in his diet (Knowing that outlawing it was not a happening thing) ...and all this time, the Doctor never gave them any info about diabetes and controlling your blood sugars, what are normal readings, what A1C were they shooting for with Larry, etc.
One day, in the late 1990s, I was trying to get an auction up on ebay. It was for a quilt. I needed an extra pair of hands to help hold the quilt while I accurately measured it and checked for any flaws. I knew that Larry was right outside the door sitting on a lawn chair, so I asked him to come in and help me out. In he shuffles and I ask him to hold the quilt for me. He looks very uncomfortable and slightly guilty, but, I wasn't really too concerned. I just wanted to get this listing going. He grabs the quilt with one hand and the other hand is tucked at an uncomfortable angle behind his back. If you have ever tried to hold a large quilt aloft with just one hand, it is impossible... "Larry, please use both hands to hold the quilt. Then you can go sit down again." Slowly the hand comes from behind his back and clutched, dripping from his sweaty palm is a fudgsicle that he had snuck outside to eat. The poor guy! I told him " You don't have to sneak a fudgesicle, they are treats that we got specifically for you." It never stopped him from 'sneaking' food- maybe it was the thrill of the forbidden, but he loved pretending to put one over on us.
Well, over the years, we changed Doctors and got the information that we needed to better manage his diabetes, but, it wasn't until he was being released from the hospital after his heart attack that I finally got a crash course in diabetes management from a really, really helpful nurse. The light bulb went on for me and it all makes sense now. We started to pay attention to carbs, not specifically sugar. I learned how many carbs per meal were good for keeping his blood sugars in check. How many carbs were good to include in his snacks. We really got his numbers under control with that system and that is how I worked his diet until last summer .
Last summer we were very busy. He had therapy 2 times a week to learn how to use his prosthetic leg, we had heart failure clinic 2 times a week, 4 hours per session, doctors appointments, family events. Lots going on. By the end of July, he was starting to throw up almost everything he ate. He was on a strict fluid restriction because although he was hardly taking in any solid calories he was retaining tons of fluids. We went for tests and it showed that the fluid was going into his tissue around his stomach, which was what was probably causing him to have no appetite and all the nausea.
He also was loosing his balance and had no energy- not a good combo for when a person is physically compromised. He fell hard and developed a severe hematoma on his lower back and buttocks. This compromised his energy levels even more, and besides that-IT HURT! LIKE CRAZY! He could hardly sit, or stand or walk and this caused him to fall several more times (Although not as bad as the first one and fortunately, no broken bones)
So, enter the new kidney Doctor. He says that the problem is Larry's kidneys are working even less than they were and he needs to start dialysis immediately. So, the next day he gets the catheter inserted and they call from the dialysis center and tell me we have to be there at 5:00 (AM, I said???) We get there the first day and no one knew we were coming. THe nurse kind of yelled at me that we shouldn't have just come in (All I did was follow orders-they said that is when we were supposed to be there, that is when we got there), then she found out that the paper work just hadn't showed up yet- Oh, well, OK- he is going to take longer because we are not ready for a new person. Larry and I are both scared and a little freaked out. It seemed very harsh and foreign. No one had talked to us about what happens, how long it takes, etc. And no one had told me that you have to change your diet. As we were leaving the nurse throws some papers at me and says-Make sure you adjust his diet! The dietitian will talk to sometime in the next few days, but in the meantime, you have to change his diet.
Now, I am pissed. I have about had it with being chastised and told what to do and as I read these hand-outs about the kidney diet, I am really freaking out! What the heck are they talking about????? I am doing fluid restriction, low salt, diabetic, heart smart cooking for a man who throws up 3/4 of what I give him lately, so I am pretty much game to give him whatever he can keep down, and now I have to restrict his diet even more? Without someone talking to me? And making sure that I am not freaking? And Larry feels like crap, and pukes his guts out all day after treatment.
When we go back in 2 days, the dietitian is supposed to be there and they promise that she will come talk to me. There is steam coming out of my ears. I am so angry that I am vibrating. When she finally gets there, I have to admit, I was pretty hostile, although to my credit I didn't swear at her or call her nasty names (At least as far as I can remember) She tried to explain why you limit potassium and phosphorus when you are on dialysis. It really didn't compute at that point because I was too angry, but, I did listen and when we got home, I got on the computer and researched and felt better.
What I do have to say about the kidney diet is that everyone is different. Some people have to be very strict with what they eat and drink. With Larry, I figure that as long as his labs are good, we are doing OK. And don't forget the protein!
As Larry progressed with dialysis, nothing really changed physically with him. He was still nauseous all the time and very wobbly. I was despairing that he would ever regain any sense of Independence again. He was so scared to be alone or walk by himself that I couldn't leave him in the house by himself. The couple of times that I did go out, weren't good- both times I got calls from him that he was on the floor. Well, the second time was from Travis because Larry couldn't read the phone keys and just pushed one of the speed dial numbers and when Trav answered, he asked him to call me and tell me that he was on the floor. So then as I race home, talking to him as I drive to keep him calm, I have to hang-up a couple of times to call Phrog and have him meet me cuz I can't get Larry up by myself. Both times, he was not hurt or bruised. We did go and have him checked out, but we were very lucky.
Then almost imperceptibly he started to get a little better and a little steadier. It has been a very long haul. And we still play each day by ear, but, I have no qualms about having Larry home alone for an afternoon or evening and If there was an safe and easy way for him to get his food warmed and to the table, I would let him do that. For now, we are both pretty pleased with his progress. He knows that I keep an eagle eye on him and his health and I am not afraid to question any of the decisions that the Drs make for him. I question his treatments, his dry weight, his insulin level, his medications. I know what is going on with all of his appointments. I pay attention and he knows it and this comforts him because he knows that someone is fighting for him and keeping him safe.
When Katie and I started to go to Door County to help with the shop, we made real, balanced meals from scratch- every day. There are too many empty calories and garbage in all of that packaged food. We also started to try to help with Larry's diabetes control. Unfortunately, none of us knew anything about it and when Mom got a tester, we tested his blood sugar like every 2 weeks (The strips were expensive! And she said this was OK) We still were trying to just cut back on the sugar in his diet (Knowing that outlawing it was not a happening thing) ...and all this time, the Doctor never gave them any info about diabetes and controlling your blood sugars, what are normal readings, what A1C were they shooting for with Larry, etc.
One day, in the late 1990s, I was trying to get an auction up on ebay. It was for a quilt. I needed an extra pair of hands to help hold the quilt while I accurately measured it and checked for any flaws. I knew that Larry was right outside the door sitting on a lawn chair, so I asked him to come in and help me out. In he shuffles and I ask him to hold the quilt for me. He looks very uncomfortable and slightly guilty, but, I wasn't really too concerned. I just wanted to get this listing going. He grabs the quilt with one hand and the other hand is tucked at an uncomfortable angle behind his back. If you have ever tried to hold a large quilt aloft with just one hand, it is impossible... "Larry, please use both hands to hold the quilt. Then you can go sit down again." Slowly the hand comes from behind his back and clutched, dripping from his sweaty palm is a fudgsicle that he had snuck outside to eat. The poor guy! I told him " You don't have to sneak a fudgesicle, they are treats that we got specifically for you." It never stopped him from 'sneaking' food- maybe it was the thrill of the forbidden, but he loved pretending to put one over on us.
Well, over the years, we changed Doctors and got the information that we needed to better manage his diabetes, but, it wasn't until he was being released from the hospital after his heart attack that I finally got a crash course in diabetes management from a really, really helpful nurse. The light bulb went on for me and it all makes sense now. We started to pay attention to carbs, not specifically sugar. I learned how many carbs per meal were good for keeping his blood sugars in check. How many carbs were good to include in his snacks. We really got his numbers under control with that system and that is how I worked his diet until last summer .
Last summer we were very busy. He had therapy 2 times a week to learn how to use his prosthetic leg, we had heart failure clinic 2 times a week, 4 hours per session, doctors appointments, family events. Lots going on. By the end of July, he was starting to throw up almost everything he ate. He was on a strict fluid restriction because although he was hardly taking in any solid calories he was retaining tons of fluids. We went for tests and it showed that the fluid was going into his tissue around his stomach, which was what was probably causing him to have no appetite and all the nausea.
He also was loosing his balance and had no energy- not a good combo for when a person is physically compromised. He fell hard and developed a severe hematoma on his lower back and buttocks. This compromised his energy levels even more, and besides that-IT HURT! LIKE CRAZY! He could hardly sit, or stand or walk and this caused him to fall several more times (Although not as bad as the first one and fortunately, no broken bones)
So, enter the new kidney Doctor. He says that the problem is Larry's kidneys are working even less than they were and he needs to start dialysis immediately. So, the next day he gets the catheter inserted and they call from the dialysis center and tell me we have to be there at 5:00 (AM, I said???) We get there the first day and no one knew we were coming. THe nurse kind of yelled at me that we shouldn't have just come in (All I did was follow orders-they said that is when we were supposed to be there, that is when we got there), then she found out that the paper work just hadn't showed up yet- Oh, well, OK- he is going to take longer because we are not ready for a new person. Larry and I are both scared and a little freaked out. It seemed very harsh and foreign. No one had talked to us about what happens, how long it takes, etc. And no one had told me that you have to change your diet. As we were leaving the nurse throws some papers at me and says-Make sure you adjust his diet! The dietitian will talk to sometime in the next few days, but in the meantime, you have to change his diet.
Now, I am pissed. I have about had it with being chastised and told what to do and as I read these hand-outs about the kidney diet, I am really freaking out! What the heck are they talking about????? I am doing fluid restriction, low salt, diabetic, heart smart cooking for a man who throws up 3/4 of what I give him lately, so I am pretty much game to give him whatever he can keep down, and now I have to restrict his diet even more? Without someone talking to me? And making sure that I am not freaking? And Larry feels like crap, and pukes his guts out all day after treatment.
When we go back in 2 days, the dietitian is supposed to be there and they promise that she will come talk to me. There is steam coming out of my ears. I am so angry that I am vibrating. When she finally gets there, I have to admit, I was pretty hostile, although to my credit I didn't swear at her or call her nasty names (At least as far as I can remember) She tried to explain why you limit potassium and phosphorus when you are on dialysis. It really didn't compute at that point because I was too angry, but, I did listen and when we got home, I got on the computer and researched and felt better.
What I do have to say about the kidney diet is that everyone is different. Some people have to be very strict with what they eat and drink. With Larry, I figure that as long as his labs are good, we are doing OK. And don't forget the protein!
As Larry progressed with dialysis, nothing really changed physically with him. He was still nauseous all the time and very wobbly. I was despairing that he would ever regain any sense of Independence again. He was so scared to be alone or walk by himself that I couldn't leave him in the house by himself. The couple of times that I did go out, weren't good- both times I got calls from him that he was on the floor. Well, the second time was from Travis because Larry couldn't read the phone keys and just pushed one of the speed dial numbers and when Trav answered, he asked him to call me and tell me that he was on the floor. So then as I race home, talking to him as I drive to keep him calm, I have to hang-up a couple of times to call Phrog and have him meet me cuz I can't get Larry up by myself. Both times, he was not hurt or bruised. We did go and have him checked out, but we were very lucky.
Then almost imperceptibly he started to get a little better and a little steadier. It has been a very long haul. And we still play each day by ear, but, I have no qualms about having Larry home alone for an afternoon or evening and If there was an safe and easy way for him to get his food warmed and to the table, I would let him do that. For now, we are both pretty pleased with his progress. He knows that I keep an eagle eye on him and his health and I am not afraid to question any of the decisions that the Drs make for him. I question his treatments, his dry weight, his insulin level, his medications. I know what is going on with all of his appointments. I pay attention and he knows it and this comforts him because he knows that someone is fighting for him and keeping him safe.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Go Packers! In the Rain!
As I have said before (Haven't I?), Larry is a huge sport fan and loves the Green Bay Packers! The Pack plays the Seattle Seahawks tonight, in the pouring rain. I am glad we aren't going! Although Sam and Jake (2 of Katie's boys went up) We will see how long they last in the rain, after all, it is only pre-season.
I spent the day baking cookies. I love to bake and share with several people so that we don't gain 800 lbs. Larry has type 2 Diabetes, but his caloric intake has been lower than I like because a lot of stuff that he used to love , no longer agrees with him. So I give him real cookies or cake instead of the sugar free stuff because he needs the calories. He used to eat what ever was in his path. I used to have to hide the snacks-regular, sugar free- he ate it all. He would sneak out to the kitchen after I went to bed and graze until he would go to bed at 1:00 am. I would get up in the morning and half the cookies would be gone- ice cream- pretzels- anything and everything. ANd he would always deny that he ate anything- like there was some sort of ghost wandering around eating? It's just the 2 of us and I know that I didn't eat the stuff- and I am pretty sure the cats couldn't get the packages open. That was before the leg got amputated. Now, I have to really coax him to eat things. And protein makes him gag - chicken- beef- we just had pork and I hear him out there gagging up part of it. Just makes life more interesting and our menu very unexciting. I throw a curve in there once in awhile, but try to make sure that at least part of the meal is something he can keep down if the main part doesn't sit well. And we always have the Protein shakes-like Nepro and Ensure plus. No one told me (until he started dialysis) how important his protein level is and how, when it is as low as his has been, he is more prone to infections, and his energy is low. Now I am preaching Protein to all his friends and all my friends that are helping with their parents. And exercise - 1/2 hour a day is all it takes to keep your blood sugars from getting out of control and helps to keep you moving. You either use it or loose it...and once you loose it, it's pretty hard to get it back.
Enough of the lecture! Time to watch the Pack!
I spent the day baking cookies. I love to bake and share with several people so that we don't gain 800 lbs. Larry has type 2 Diabetes, but his caloric intake has been lower than I like because a lot of stuff that he used to love , no longer agrees with him. So I give him real cookies or cake instead of the sugar free stuff because he needs the calories. He used to eat what ever was in his path. I used to have to hide the snacks-regular, sugar free- he ate it all. He would sneak out to the kitchen after I went to bed and graze until he would go to bed at 1:00 am. I would get up in the morning and half the cookies would be gone- ice cream- pretzels- anything and everything. ANd he would always deny that he ate anything- like there was some sort of ghost wandering around eating? It's just the 2 of us and I know that I didn't eat the stuff- and I am pretty sure the cats couldn't get the packages open. That was before the leg got amputated. Now, I have to really coax him to eat things. And protein makes him gag - chicken- beef- we just had pork and I hear him out there gagging up part of it. Just makes life more interesting and our menu very unexciting. I throw a curve in there once in awhile, but try to make sure that at least part of the meal is something he can keep down if the main part doesn't sit well. And we always have the Protein shakes-like Nepro and Ensure plus. No one told me (until he started dialysis) how important his protein level is and how, when it is as low as his has been, he is more prone to infections, and his energy is low. Now I am preaching Protein to all his friends and all my friends that are helping with their parents. And exercise - 1/2 hour a day is all it takes to keep your blood sugars from getting out of control and helps to keep you moving. You either use it or loose it...and once you loose it, it's pretty hard to get it back.
Enough of the lecture! Time to watch the Pack!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Xango-We drink it! How about you?
I wanted top tell you all about the Xango link on my page. I am not a person who pushes people to use certain products and MLMs ALWAYS rub me the wrong way, but I do make sure that Larry and I have our Xango every day.
Biza (Who works for an airline) brought some Xango home with her on one of her trips last fall. She said that the girl who sold it to her told her that it helps with constipation and tiredness and feeling run down, sinus issues, etc, etc and since she works for the airline, she always was getting colds and the flu from being on the airplanes with terrible air circulation. She got a case of Xango and said she would see what happened, but knew that We should probably give it a shot with Larry on the off chance that it would help him feel better. Since he had started dialysis his energy level was terrible- he slurred a lot and had trouble focusing,constipated, had no appetite, blood sugar readings were all over the place- all in all, he just did not feel good. I figured that if it helped at all, it would be worth the $.
We drank the case and I have to say, that I noticed quite a difference in Larry- he had more energy and was able to talk clearer and pay attention more. He was not constipated anymore and his appetite was improving and as a result his blood sugar readings stabilized.
For myself, I noticed that the shoulder pain that I had been having disappeared and I stopped having to take sinus pills because my sinuses didn't hurt. You would think that this would have convinced me about Xango, but no- I stubbornly thought that it was just the Mangosteen juice itself that had helped, not the specific Xango, so I kept Larry on the Xango, while I tried several other brands over the next weeks and oh-oh! I could feel the pains creeping back in. I switched back to the Xango and I have to tell you...I'm not switching again. It works for me. I have taken a total of 4 sinus pills since last November( I used to go through about a package every month) and I think that Larry and I both feel really good and have more energy.
So if you want to know more about Xango, click on the link to Biza's site and read some more about it! Even if you decide it is not for you, it never hurts to gather a little bit of info!
Biza (Who works for an airline) brought some Xango home with her on one of her trips last fall. She said that the girl who sold it to her told her that it helps with constipation and tiredness and feeling run down, sinus issues, etc, etc and since she works for the airline, she always was getting colds and the flu from being on the airplanes with terrible air circulation. She got a case of Xango and said she would see what happened, but knew that We should probably give it a shot with Larry on the off chance that it would help him feel better. Since he had started dialysis his energy level was terrible- he slurred a lot and had trouble focusing,constipated, had no appetite, blood sugar readings were all over the place- all in all, he just did not feel good. I figured that if it helped at all, it would be worth the $.
We drank the case and I have to say, that I noticed quite a difference in Larry- he had more energy and was able to talk clearer and pay attention more. He was not constipated anymore and his appetite was improving and as a result his blood sugar readings stabilized.
For myself, I noticed that the shoulder pain that I had been having disappeared and I stopped having to take sinus pills because my sinuses didn't hurt. You would think that this would have convinced me about Xango, but no- I stubbornly thought that it was just the Mangosteen juice itself that had helped, not the specific Xango, so I kept Larry on the Xango, while I tried several other brands over the next weeks and oh-oh! I could feel the pains creeping back in. I switched back to the Xango and I have to tell you...I'm not switching again. It works for me. I have taken a total of 4 sinus pills since last November( I used to go through about a package every month) and I think that Larry and I both feel really good and have more energy.
So if you want to know more about Xango, click on the link to Biza's site and read some more about it! Even if you decide it is not for you, it never hurts to gather a little bit of info!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Chinese for Dinner!
Well, it turned out to be a beautiful day! Lar and Elvis and I went rummaging this morning. We only went around here and into the Falls because we had to be at Coumadin Clinic at 10:15 and then I had to come back and mow the lawn.
As I have said before, I am NOT the lawn mowing queen. I don't mind doing it, but it is not an art form for me, so I just kind of mow how ever I feel like it . And am happy when I am done.
Our neighbor Carl is a dedicated lawnmower man and I am sure that as he watches me happily circle and weave around the yard, that he cringes and wants to tell me that I am doing it wrong. I know for a fact, that Kurt would have had a BIRD about the way that I mow! He was another lawn artist and mowed in patterns- you know, like the whole yard was mowed on a diagonal back and forth, so that it had textured stripes? Or the checkerboard pattern?
Kurt also swept and vacuumed the driveway (Which is kind of insane because it is 7/8 s gravel) These types of things gave him great pleasure. He would have loved the leaf blowers and pressure washers that everyone has today.
I called Katie (Who was in Bowling Green on their way back from taking Travis to Atlanta for school) because every sale I hit today had stuff that we searched all summer to find for Trav's apartment at school! Go figure,eh? Found a whole bunch of fun books (I am a book-a-holic) that I will peruse and probably eventually sell on ebay. Rummaging is a blast! You can get things that appeal to you and if they don't work for whatever reason-say a shelf is too big for the spot you were thinking of putting it, you can just re-rummage it or sell it on ebay! Or, if it was only 25 cents, you can just give it away! Gotta love that! And we still have a booth at the antique mall in Door County, so we always look for stuff to take up there!
Lar is napping- almost time to have him get up and move around for awhile. It is a beautiful afternoon, so I think I'll go for my walk and then it is
time to take out the garbage cans for trash pick-up in the morning. It seems like garbage day always comes pretty quick!
I am getting Chinese for dinner- No special reason, we just want a little egg-fu-yung. And that is that.
As I have said before, I am NOT the lawn mowing queen. I don't mind doing it, but it is not an art form for me, so I just kind of mow how ever I feel like it . And am happy when I am done.
Our neighbor Carl is a dedicated lawnmower man and I am sure that as he watches me happily circle and weave around the yard, that he cringes and wants to tell me that I am doing it wrong. I know for a fact, that Kurt would have had a BIRD about the way that I mow! He was another lawn artist and mowed in patterns- you know, like the whole yard was mowed on a diagonal back and forth, so that it had textured stripes? Or the checkerboard pattern?
Kurt also swept and vacuumed the driveway (Which is kind of insane because it is 7/8 s gravel) These types of things gave him great pleasure. He would have loved the leaf blowers and pressure washers that everyone has today.
I called Katie (Who was in Bowling Green on their way back from taking Travis to Atlanta for school) because every sale I hit today had stuff that we searched all summer to find for Trav's apartment at school! Go figure,eh? Found a whole bunch of fun books (I am a book-a-holic) that I will peruse and probably eventually sell on ebay. Rummaging is a blast! You can get things that appeal to you and if they don't work for whatever reason-say a shelf is too big for the spot you were thinking of putting it, you can just re-rummage it or sell it on ebay! Or, if it was only 25 cents, you can just give it away! Gotta love that! And we still have a booth at the antique mall in Door County, so we always look for stuff to take up there!
Lar is napping- almost time to have him get up and move around for awhile. It is a beautiful afternoon, so I think I'll go for my walk and then it is
time to take out the garbage cans for trash pick-up in the morning. It seems like garbage day always comes pretty quick!
I am getting Chinese for dinner- No special reason, we just want a little egg-fu-yung. And that is that.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Sarah vs the Squirrels
When we were kids we always would laugh at Dad because he would get so irate about the darn squirrels. Kurt would come running down the stairs in his boxers and go flying out the door with the beebee pistol clutched in his hands and run around the house yelling at the squirrel as it jumped from branch to branch or ran across the roof. I think the squirrels would sit up there and laugh at him!
So, little did I think that when I became an adult, the squirrels would awaken in me the same rastle-frastle feelings that my Dad had. I walk out the door and stand on the porch and-PLOP- right on my head- 1/2 of a black walnut with lovely squirrel drool still dripping from it. So then I'll move over a few feet. And so will that furry little monster up in the tree, so PLOP! on the head again.
I have tried to capture them and let them go somewhere else. Phrog said they probably got back to the house before I did and also, I freaked out when I saw how easily the squirrel could release himself from the trap. All I could picture as Biz and I were driving him to the country to release him Was a panicked squirrel racing across our heads, trying to escape from inside the van, while we crashed into a telephone pole.
So, I gave up the live trapping.
Then, I had my nephew Jake come down and hunt them (With great success) but he has been too busy for the last year and the population of squirrels is rapidly growing, with no relief in sight.
One year they got into the barn, and the mama and babies dies up in between the drop ceiling and the upstairs floor. THAT was not a fun job getting them out! YUCK! But, they have not gotten into the barn since.
If I had my druthers, the black walnut tree would be a thing of the past. Grandpa did not plant it.... It grew because squirrels bury the nuts all over and the trees start to grow. Mom thought-'It will be very pretty there'. And it was . Pretty. Until it started to fruit. And then you have the shells all over that leave black stains and the roots and dripping sap that kills everything around it (No more lilacs and all of the rock gardens died) And lots and lots of squirrels.
Last year was the nutless year, but it looks like we have lots this year! Oh well...maybe someday.....No Black Walnut tree.
So, little did I think that when I became an adult, the squirrels would awaken in me the same rastle-frastle feelings that my Dad had. I walk out the door and stand on the porch and-PLOP- right on my head- 1/2 of a black walnut with lovely squirrel drool still dripping from it. So then I'll move over a few feet. And so will that furry little monster up in the tree, so PLOP! on the head again.
I have tried to capture them and let them go somewhere else. Phrog said they probably got back to the house before I did and also, I freaked out when I saw how easily the squirrel could release himself from the trap. All I could picture as Biz and I were driving him to the country to release him Was a panicked squirrel racing across our heads, trying to escape from inside the van, while we crashed into a telephone pole.
So, I gave up the live trapping.
Then, I had my nephew Jake come down and hunt them (With great success) but he has been too busy for the last year and the population of squirrels is rapidly growing, with no relief in sight.
One year they got into the barn, and the mama and babies dies up in between the drop ceiling and the upstairs floor. THAT was not a fun job getting them out! YUCK! But, they have not gotten into the barn since.
If I had my druthers, the black walnut tree would be a thing of the past. Grandpa did not plant it.... It grew because squirrels bury the nuts all over and the trees start to grow. Mom thought-'It will be very pretty there'. And it was . Pretty. Until it started to fruit. And then you have the shells all over that leave black stains and the roots and dripping sap that kills everything around it (No more lilacs and all of the rock gardens died) And lots and lots of squirrels.
Last year was the nutless year, but it looks like we have lots this year! Oh well...maybe someday.....No Black Walnut tree.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Rainy Days and Tuesdays
We had a nice thunder/rain storm all through the night. My garden is very happy! The lawn is too, but unfortunately this means I must mow.
It's not that it is hard to mow- I just hate doing the inclines and ditches, so my deal with Phrog is- I mow the wide expanses and he comes and does the ditches for us.
I have to tell you all, that Larry and I would be up shit creek without Phrog. He calls almost every day and stops in several times a week. When he says -" do you need anything done?" I know he is not just being polite, it means that if I have something to get done, he will do it either on the spot or in the next couple of days.
Everyone else in the family means well. They all say- If you need anything just ask. BUUUUUUT... past experience has shown me (Much to my frustration), that it is pretty much just talk- they WILL come through in an emergency, but anything else- not so much. We get the- "Yeah sure, I should have some time next week and I'll stop over and check that out" (RIGHT....) You get the picture and I am sure that some of you who are caring for a parent have found out that once you settle in as the major care taker,people figure that you have it handled and they can get on with their lives and you will let them know if you need anything, so they won't worry about it until you call. And then when you call the first time, it is OK they will gladly come and give a hand, but as time passes, they settle into the routine of their lives again. And forget. Forget to call or stop- "Oh I have been so busy- I forgot to call" " I think we can stop for a couple of minutes on our way home from VACATION next week and say hi-" "I just called you guys (3 weeks ago) and didn't want to wear Larry out". "I stopped but Larry was tired (Well DUH!) and so I left so he could get some rest"
I think that the number of times that anyone has called and OFFERED- OUT OF THE BLUE- ON THEIR OWN- WITHOUT MY ASKING- to come and sit with Larry so I could go out and do something without having to worry about how he will get his dinner or his pills or his meds , is under 10- in how many years? And going away for a weekend- I have tried to set up- managed 2 times- not easy, let me tell you. Biza, who lives in California for the crying out loud comes and helps more with Larry than the rest of the family (Except Phrog) who live within 30 miles!
And the funniest thing is, if you were to ask any one of my brothers or sisters, they would say that they certainly help out a lot..... So, Lar and I have learned through the years, to gratefully accept the help that is offered. We don't expect a lot and therefore are not disappointed. And when he is sad and blue that no one calls and talks to him, I dial the phone and hand it to him and HE calls them. We have our routines and Phrog stops in when he knows I am gone to check and make sure that Lar is OK.
I certainly realise that not everyone can do this- taking care of an elderly parent is a whole different ball game than what we are used to. But, I do feel sorry for my family as they rush about and forget to take the time to be there for someone who is important to them.
They always think- Well, tomorrow I will make more time or do this or that- and sometimes, you just don't get a tomorrow.
So that is why I make sure that Larry and I enjoy each and every day-(some days more than others).
I do not have any regrets about taking this time in my life to be here for Larry. To help him live a happy life. To enjoy the time he has be it 5 days or 10 years. I know that he values what I do for him, and you know what? I Value what I do- and that is enough for me!
Now, that I went totally off the track of what I meant to write about this morning! Yikes! From mowing the lawn to family issues. All in a days work, I guess!
It's not that it is hard to mow- I just hate doing the inclines and ditches, so my deal with Phrog is- I mow the wide expanses and he comes and does the ditches for us.
I have to tell you all, that Larry and I would be up shit creek without Phrog. He calls almost every day and stops in several times a week. When he says -" do you need anything done?" I know he is not just being polite, it means that if I have something to get done, he will do it either on the spot or in the next couple of days.
Everyone else in the family means well. They all say- If you need anything just ask. BUUUUUUT... past experience has shown me (Much to my frustration), that it is pretty much just talk- they WILL come through in an emergency, but anything else- not so much. We get the- "Yeah sure, I should have some time next week and I'll stop over and check that out" (RIGHT....) You get the picture and I am sure that some of you who are caring for a parent have found out that once you settle in as the major care taker,people figure that you have it handled and they can get on with their lives and you will let them know if you need anything, so they won't worry about it until you call. And then when you call the first time, it is OK they will gladly come and give a hand, but as time passes, they settle into the routine of their lives again. And forget. Forget to call or stop- "Oh I have been so busy- I forgot to call" " I think we can stop for a couple of minutes on our way home from VACATION next week and say hi-" "I just called you guys (3 weeks ago) and didn't want to wear Larry out". "I stopped but Larry was tired (Well DUH!) and so I left so he could get some rest"
I think that the number of times that anyone has called and OFFERED- OUT OF THE BLUE- ON THEIR OWN- WITHOUT MY ASKING- to come and sit with Larry so I could go out and do something without having to worry about how he will get his dinner or his pills or his meds , is under 10- in how many years? And going away for a weekend- I have tried to set up- managed 2 times- not easy, let me tell you. Biza, who lives in California for the crying out loud comes and helps more with Larry than the rest of the family (Except Phrog) who live within 30 miles!
And the funniest thing is, if you were to ask any one of my brothers or sisters, they would say that they certainly help out a lot..... So, Lar and I have learned through the years, to gratefully accept the help that is offered. We don't expect a lot and therefore are not disappointed. And when he is sad and blue that no one calls and talks to him, I dial the phone and hand it to him and HE calls them. We have our routines and Phrog stops in when he knows I am gone to check and make sure that Lar is OK.
I certainly realise that not everyone can do this- taking care of an elderly parent is a whole different ball game than what we are used to. But, I do feel sorry for my family as they rush about and forget to take the time to be there for someone who is important to them.
They always think- Well, tomorrow I will make more time or do this or that- and sometimes, you just don't get a tomorrow.
So that is why I make sure that Larry and I enjoy each and every day-(some days more than others).
I do not have any regrets about taking this time in my life to be here for Larry. To help him live a happy life. To enjoy the time he has be it 5 days or 10 years. I know that he values what I do for him, and you know what? I Value what I do- and that is enough for me!
Now, that I went totally off the track of what I meant to write about this morning! Yikes! From mowing the lawn to family issues. All in a days work, I guess!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Monday Night Football!
Well, we had a long talkative lunch with the gang. It is kind of funny because when you get a bunch of people together and a couple don't hear too well, it makes for some interesting conversations! I always enjoy seeing everyone and Willie is a born entertainer! He didn't sing but had us all laughing at his escapades!
I had Larry dress in his favorite blue jeans this afternoon. He always looks very sharp with decent clothes on and used to dress very nicely all the time. He doesn't usually wear anything but sweat pants now because A-he lost a ton of weight & with it his behind B- without a behind, even with a belt, pants don't like to stay up very well and C-his prosthetic leg sticks and all of a sudden the pants start drooping and then BLOOP! To the ground and you hate to have the poor guy pantless in a nice restaurant! But he made it OK- no pants drop- Whew!
When we got home, Lar, took a quick nap and noooowwww..... It's time for Monday Night Football!!! He is in heaven! Football season is starting! It may be pre-season to you, but it means football to Lar! ANNNDDD...BASEBALL is still going ANNNDDDD there is still golf. This is Larry's favorite time of year!
In the old days pre-medical problems, he would head down into the basement and putz around doing some laundry or working on little jobs that I kept for him to do He had 2 TVs and a radio going. They were turned to different stations and if the Packers were stressing him out too much, he would wander over across the basement to the other set and watch a different game for a bit. Or sit and puff on his pipe just listening to the game on the radio. He does miss the basement. And his pipe. And I don't let him flip around if I am watching with him, so he is OK with me working on the computer while he watches his football games. I am rooting for the San Fran tonight-
And hopefully we will get some rain tonight and I don't have to water. Yay for me!
I had Larry dress in his favorite blue jeans this afternoon. He always looks very sharp with decent clothes on and used to dress very nicely all the time. He doesn't usually wear anything but sweat pants now because A-he lost a ton of weight & with it his behind B- without a behind, even with a belt, pants don't like to stay up very well and C-his prosthetic leg sticks and all of a sudden the pants start drooping and then BLOOP! To the ground and you hate to have the poor guy pantless in a nice restaurant! But he made it OK- no pants drop- Whew!
When we got home, Lar, took a quick nap and noooowwww..... It's time for Monday Night Football!!! He is in heaven! Football season is starting! It may be pre-season to you, but it means football to Lar! ANNNDDD...BASEBALL is still going ANNNDDDD there is still golf. This is Larry's favorite time of year!
In the old days pre-medical problems, he would head down into the basement and putz around doing some laundry or working on little jobs that I kept for him to do He had 2 TVs and a radio going. They were turned to different stations and if the Packers were stressing him out too much, he would wander over across the basement to the other set and watch a different game for a bit. Or sit and puff on his pipe just listening to the game on the radio. He does miss the basement. And his pipe. And I don't let him flip around if I am watching with him, so he is OK with me working on the computer while he watches his football games. I am rooting for the San Fran tonight-
And hopefully we will get some rain tonight and I don't have to water. Yay for me!
Singing and Dancing Willie
Well today is the day that Larry has been waiting for since June of last year. That is when his old school chum Willie told him that he would be in town for a family reunion, so we have been planning to get together for a year! Until a couple of years ago Willie was a great song and dance man and used to entertain at a lot of functions in his area. Hopefully we can get him to sing one today!
Larry's group of friends has dwindled down to 4 men and 3 of the wives and actually Harvey doesn't count as a school chum because he joined the group later on, after
the war.
(The picture here is of the guys about 30 years ago. Larry, Jim & Howie are standing. Bob, Harry, Willie and Gene are sitting)
Larry went to grade school with Jim and Bob and Willie-That is a heck of a long time to be chums! He was friends for even longer with Howie McKee-(I love that name, don't you?)Howie's Mom and Larry's Mom were friends and Howie and Larry knew each other since day 1 and were great buddys all along. Howie just passed away 2 years ago and his wife moved up to Door County, so we haven't seen her since then.
We get together with Jim and Elaine (His very lovely wife) every month and have lunch or breakfast...we always have to work around Doctors appointments and Larry's dialysis and laugh about that. Sometimes we have Harvey come along, but he likes fancier places than we do. We usually go to somewhere Greek and sit and talk for an hour or so after we are done! Those Greek places are great and they never rush you!
Bob and his wife Grace live in Wis. from May til Sept. and then head for Arizona. They have a lot of family here, and Doctors appointments, so their summer goes fast and we usually only get to see them a couple of times.
And Willie lives in Las Vegas and we haven't seen him for about 4 or 5 years. So we figured we had better do a get together this time- none of them are getting any younger .
So, I just got Larry from dialysis and he had his protein drink, pills and insulin and laying down for an hour. Then he gets up, we spruce him up, brush the hair, slap on his cap and head out to pick up Jim and Elaine and then off to meet Willie and his daughter Kathy and Bob and Grace.
It is an absolutely gorgeous day, so perfect for the drive over to the place that we are meeting. I'll post a picture when I get one- Bob always has his camera and takes pictures. Me- I have never been a big photo person and have never gotten into the swing of taking lots of pictures! So sad, too bad.
Well, time to rouse Larry and Elvis from their nap so we can get ready! I'll post later to let you know how it went!
Larry's group of friends has dwindled down to 4 men and 3 of the wives and actually Harvey doesn't count as a school chum because he joined the group later on, after
the war.(The picture here is of the guys about 30 years ago. Larry, Jim & Howie are standing. Bob, Harry, Willie and Gene are sitting)
Larry went to grade school with Jim and Bob and Willie-That is a heck of a long time to be chums! He was friends for even longer with Howie McKee-(I love that name, don't you?)Howie's Mom and Larry's Mom were friends and Howie and Larry knew each other since day 1 and were great buddys all along. Howie just passed away 2 years ago and his wife moved up to Door County, so we haven't seen her since then.
We get together with Jim and Elaine (His very lovely wife) every month and have lunch or breakfast...we always have to work around Doctors appointments and Larry's dialysis and laugh about that. Sometimes we have Harvey come along, but he likes fancier places than we do. We usually go to somewhere Greek and sit and talk for an hour or so after we are done! Those Greek places are great and they never rush you!
Bob and his wife Grace live in Wis. from May til Sept. and then head for Arizona. They have a lot of family here, and Doctors appointments, so their summer goes fast and we usually only get to see them a couple of times.
And Willie lives in Las Vegas and we haven't seen him for about 4 or 5 years. So we figured we had better do a get together this time- none of them are getting any younger .
So, I just got Larry from dialysis and he had his protein drink, pills and insulin and laying down for an hour. Then he gets up, we spruce him up, brush the hair, slap on his cap and head out to pick up Jim and Elaine and then off to meet Willie and his daughter Kathy and Bob and Grace.
It is an absolutely gorgeous day, so perfect for the drive over to the place that we are meeting. I'll post a picture when I get one- Bob always has his camera and takes pictures. Me- I have never been a big photo person and have never gotten into the swing of taking lots of pictures! So sad, too bad.
Well, time to rouse Larry and Elvis from their nap so we can get ready! I'll post later to let you know how it went!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
What would I have said 10 years ago?
If you had asked me 10 years ago what I would be doing in my life at age 51, I can guarantee that living at the house in Germantown, taking care of Mom and or Larry would not have even entered my mind. I always figured that Mushy (Being the one who got guilted into everything)would be guilted into caring for Mom if it ever came to that point. I think that like all kids, you think that your parents will go on and on and you will never have to think about it until you are about 80 yourself. And in our case, I thought that Mom had some sort of pact with God going on (She prayed enough) and wouldn't go until she was good and ready at about 110.
As I said in an earlier post, my sister Katie and I worked with Mom at her shop from May til October. When we started doing this, Mom was pretty healthy and we all took turns being up at the shop running it instead of everyone having to be there all the time.
As Mom's ability to be mobile went down, so did her ability to be at the shop without Katie or Myself there. So, for the last few years, Katie and I took turns being there with Mom and Lar and took care of them and the shop. Also, because we are talking a majorly old log house and falling down out buildings, we had to organize work crews several times a year (From our family of course) to do the 3 hour drive and come up and work their tail feathers off for 2 or 3 days to make sure the place did not fall down around our ears.
By the summer of 2001, even Lar was starting to think that it was too much. Several times he said to Katie and me-"You know, I was talking to a guy at an auction recently and he said that he and his wife finally sold their place up here because they just couldn't keep up both places anymore. He said it was a hard decision, but they feel like a weight is off their shoulders." Business in Door County had been declining over the past few years and so we weren't making as much money. Katie's kids were starting to get to the stage where they didn't want to come up to Door County for most of the summer-they wanted to stay home and do stuff there. I just wanted to do something different-didn't know what for sure, I just thought that it was time to move on to something else.
So, we tell Mom-"Look, you have to decide what you want here- We are pretty sure that this will be the last summer that we are willing to come up and run the shop. You can barely afford to keep both places and with the shop income declining, it will be even tighter. It is getting harder and harder to get the guys up here to do the ever increasing repairs, PLUS- come to Germantown and work on that house too. You have to decide which place you want to keep and sell the other one."
Well, of course she wanted to keep the place in Door. DUH! But, after talking to everyone in the family and understanding that she and Lar would be on their own up there , family would visit, but not every single week and there would be no one she could call at 10:00pm to come and fix the water that is leaking all over the bathroom and God forbid, medical assistance is 30 minutes away. We told her that we could open a shop in the barn in Germantown and still work on Ebay and all would be well. After much gnashing of teeth and tantrum (Oh yes she did!) throwing, she called the realtor and listed the farm in Door. And found 2 buyers immediately. And then we had the ill fated auction to get rid of the excess stock that we couldn't take home-that was bad....very sad.... and looking back from a distance, I think that she probably had several small strokes before we got home in October, but didn't realize it. Sigh....
Now, we caravan home with our loads of stuff that has to be fit in this house and Katie's house and the barn and as we are working on that drisslly October day, Jessie (Our Niece, Cindy's 2nd daughter) goes in to ask Mom a question and comes flying back out like the hounds of hell are on her heals. "There's something wrong with Grandma!" In we go and yes indeed, there is something drastically wrong with Mom-her whole left side was hanging limp and she kept slurring about her remote being broken on her TV because the channel wouldn't change (She thought it was in her left hand and didn't realize she had nothing in her hand now) We call 911, the ambulance comes, we circle the wagons-everyone comes to the hospital and waits. Serious...Blah, Blah, Blah....next 24 hours will tell, blah, blah blah.
Poor Mama. She kept telling us she did not have a stroke and she was fine and this jerk face Doctor kept trying to get me (Because I was her health power of attorney) to sign a DNR. I gotta tell you that to this day, when I hear that quacks name, the hackles on the back of my neck stand up. Lar and I took turns staying in her room over night because she would get so scared. And after my first night staying, I could understand why. Attila the Hun disguised as a nurse was on night shift. I have never met a woman with less empathy for her patients. She tossed my around like a sack of potatoes, changing her sheets, weighing her, checking meds. Yikes stripes! Then they decide Mom has to go to a skilled facility to get rehab before she can come home. This is OK with us because her whole left side is paralyzed and we have no idea how to handle this.
She arrives at Virginia Highlands on a Saturday and the guy who escorts her in is in a costume and she is freaking out! We figured out later on that some of the meds that they had her on caused hallucinations, but this was after arguing with the medical staff that she WAS NOT suffering from Alzheimer's or dementia. This was not a happy stage here. We were all wondering what the heck was going on. They slap these poor people in this place and there are not nearly enough aides to even come close to taking care of them. Mom was on a restricted diet-she had to have pureed food and thickened water (Yum! Sounds good doesn't it?)
The food was awful and after figuring out the rules, we brought food from home for her much of the time. She had therapy every week-day- physical therapy, Occupational therapy and speech therapy. She was not a happy girl with any of them, but did wind up improving. Larry went to the nursing home every day. Rain, shine, snow, sleet- Larry was there. I tried to make it for at least a couple of hours every day and became pretty adept at doing things for her. By January, I had moved down to Germantown so I didn't have to make the drive every day. This was fairly easy for me because I have no husband, no kids. I had been living at Katie's ( A story for another time) and we were selling on ebay as our winter source of income, so if there was a computer, I could work.
Mid- January, they said she was going to have to leave by the 1st week of February and where did we want her to go. Well, we want to take her home-Duh! Oh, you can't! She needs too much help, etc, etc. After you get to know me for awhile, you'll realize, you just can't tell me what I have to do because I will say-Oh Yeah? Watch me! So, we got the boys to build a ramp, we changed the toilet for a higher one that was easier to get on and off. We put grab bars everywhere, cleared the house of clutter and pulled up rugs and did everything we could to get the house ready. They came and checked it out and although they were not thrilled that we wanted her at home, they let us bring her, fully expecting us to call in a week and ask what do we do now.
Mom was so happy to be home, I think she slept for 2 days. Then the home therapy and visiting nurses started. We had some good ones and some bad ones. One lady came to help Mom bathe (Mom at this time weighed about 215lbs) and hefted her around,swearing and sweating up a storm(She was not a delicate flower of a woman herself) not considering the fact that MOM WAS PARALYSED ON HER LEFT SIDE AND COULDN'T MOVE!and the next day we get a call from the visiting nurse that in view of this Visiting scrub woman's opinion that Mom was recalcerant and wouldn't help or move, she should be put in a nursing home immediately and she was going to come out and investigate and make sure we were really up to the task of taking care of Mom. When the nurse came out, I gave her a piece of my mind after she checked Mom over and had Mom discharged from their care. What a BAG!
It was a day by day learning experience. Mom got fabulous care from all of us. Phrog found a used wheel chair lift that we installed in the van and we were mobile again, so we could take her to outside therapy and to the Drs office and most importantly-RUMMAGING! Not that she could get out of the van, but she sure loved to rummage (In fact on the way to the hospital when she had her stroke, she asked the driver to stop for any rummages on the way!)
It is a new way of life, but we are grateful that she is still with us and willing to figure it out as we go. But, in the meantime, Phrog's wife Nancy had been having some sort of problems with a recurring bladder infection (Is what the Doctor thought) and all of a sudden, on Easter weekend, her neck swells up. We all know that this is not good-This is what happened to Cindy when her (Again, this story will be told at a later date)cancer returned. They found out she had stage 4 non-Hodgkins Lynphoma. Not a good prognosis....It spread to her brain in July, the up side of that is it took out a lot of her short term memory so she couldn't remember a lot of what was going on.
I had Sarah's nursing clinic going on. I would dget Mom up and dressed and eating breakfast, then Phrog would drop off Nancy (She couldn't be alone because she would forget what she was supposed to be doing and go wander around outside-or worse- before they figured it out, she drove to a restaurant that they used to go to and she sat there waiting for Phrog, but couldn't remember her name or his or where she lived) In October she nearly died from blood clots, but came out of it enough to get sent to Virginia Highlands to get therapy because she was pretty weak and wobbly from almost dieing. We drove to Milwaukee every day to get radiation for her to keep the tumors from growing any more.
Everything was pretty status quo with Mom-we had several small emergencies, but nothing we couldn't handle and everyone focused on Nancy and helping Phrog (They were both 36 at the time)
At Christmas, Phrog got Nancy a tiny puppy who she named Elvis. Everyone loved Elvis. Even Mom wanted a little guy like him. On New Years Day, Phrog brought Elvis down in his kennel and asked me to watch him because Nancy couldn't walk with him darting between her feet and the next day, she was back in the hospital- they gave her about 1 month.
Phrog took her home and hospiced her. Not an easy thing for a young man to do, but, he really did such a wonderful job.
Anyhow....Back to Mom, it was a Saturday. I got her up and dressed. She was fine. Rolled her to the breakfast room, got her breakfast for her and then went up to shower and change myself. When I get back downstairs, she has cereal all over and her arm is dangling again. 911-ambulance to the hospital, they are trying to figure out what is going on. She is fine if she is laying flat and goes into spasms if her head is raised. No food, lots of tests. She is so scared, and we try to stay positive, but it is really hard and now I have a different Doctor trying to get me to sign the DNR orders. And I keep saying-If you can tell me what is going on and that she will not come out of it, I certainly will, but she is OK as long as she is flat, so I am not signing squat. Then 3 nights into the ordeal, the clot breaks loose and causes massive damage and they put her down in ICU and hook her up to all the machines...and we get the word that Nancy had passed away that night, while Mom had her stroke.
We got through Nancy's funeral and then decided that we would bring Mom home, so she could die here. It was set up and accomplished in mere hours. Her last trip to the house...and everyone came....and we had food...and we laughed...and cried...and believe it or not, we painted the living room chartreuse and red (She had been trying to get me to do it for months) And at 11:15 as I sat holding her hand and watching West Wing (Our favorite show), she peacefully went to see her parents and Daddy. And then we had another funeral.
So, that is how I came to be here. I am glad that I came. Glad that I had the chance to learn and grow as I have in the past years. I have come to understand myself a lot better . And as each day passes and Larry has some other issue pop up, I am glad that I can be here for him. He deserves someone to love him and to take care of him, not that the rest of the family doesn't love and care for him, I am just the one who, 24/7 is here. Through rain, sleet, snow and hail. I am here. And I am glad.
As I said in an earlier post, my sister Katie and I worked with Mom at her shop from May til October. When we started doing this, Mom was pretty healthy and we all took turns being up at the shop running it instead of everyone having to be there all the time.
As Mom's ability to be mobile went down, so did her ability to be at the shop without Katie or Myself there. So, for the last few years, Katie and I took turns being there with Mom and Lar and took care of them and the shop. Also, because we are talking a majorly old log house and falling down out buildings, we had to organize work crews several times a year (From our family of course) to do the 3 hour drive and come up and work their tail feathers off for 2 or 3 days to make sure the place did not fall down around our ears.
By the summer of 2001, even Lar was starting to think that it was too much. Several times he said to Katie and me-"You know, I was talking to a guy at an auction recently and he said that he and his wife finally sold their place up here because they just couldn't keep up both places anymore. He said it was a hard decision, but they feel like a weight is off their shoulders." Business in Door County had been declining over the past few years and so we weren't making as much money. Katie's kids were starting to get to the stage where they didn't want to come up to Door County for most of the summer-they wanted to stay home and do stuff there. I just wanted to do something different-didn't know what for sure, I just thought that it was time to move on to something else.
So, we tell Mom-"Look, you have to decide what you want here- We are pretty sure that this will be the last summer that we are willing to come up and run the shop. You can barely afford to keep both places and with the shop income declining, it will be even tighter. It is getting harder and harder to get the guys up here to do the ever increasing repairs, PLUS- come to Germantown and work on that house too. You have to decide which place you want to keep and sell the other one."
Well, of course she wanted to keep the place in Door. DUH! But, after talking to everyone in the family and understanding that she and Lar would be on their own up there , family would visit, but not every single week and there would be no one she could call at 10:00pm to come and fix the water that is leaking all over the bathroom and God forbid, medical assistance is 30 minutes away. We told her that we could open a shop in the barn in Germantown and still work on Ebay and all would be well. After much gnashing of teeth and tantrum (Oh yes she did!) throwing, she called the realtor and listed the farm in Door. And found 2 buyers immediately. And then we had the ill fated auction to get rid of the excess stock that we couldn't take home-that was bad....very sad.... and looking back from a distance, I think that she probably had several small strokes before we got home in October, but didn't realize it. Sigh....
Now, we caravan home with our loads of stuff that has to be fit in this house and Katie's house and the barn and as we are working on that drisslly October day, Jessie (Our Niece, Cindy's 2nd daughter) goes in to ask Mom a question and comes flying back out like the hounds of hell are on her heals. "There's something wrong with Grandma!" In we go and yes indeed, there is something drastically wrong with Mom-her whole left side was hanging limp and she kept slurring about her remote being broken on her TV because the channel wouldn't change (She thought it was in her left hand and didn't realize she had nothing in her hand now) We call 911, the ambulance comes, we circle the wagons-everyone comes to the hospital and waits. Serious...Blah, Blah, Blah....next 24 hours will tell, blah, blah blah.
Poor Mama. She kept telling us she did not have a stroke and she was fine and this jerk face Doctor kept trying to get me (Because I was her health power of attorney) to sign a DNR. I gotta tell you that to this day, when I hear that quacks name, the hackles on the back of my neck stand up. Lar and I took turns staying in her room over night because she would get so scared. And after my first night staying, I could understand why. Attila the Hun disguised as a nurse was on night shift. I have never met a woman with less empathy for her patients. She tossed my around like a sack of potatoes, changing her sheets, weighing her, checking meds. Yikes stripes! Then they decide Mom has to go to a skilled facility to get rehab before she can come home. This is OK with us because her whole left side is paralyzed and we have no idea how to handle this.
She arrives at Virginia Highlands on a Saturday and the guy who escorts her in is in a costume and she is freaking out! We figured out later on that some of the meds that they had her on caused hallucinations, but this was after arguing with the medical staff that she WAS NOT suffering from Alzheimer's or dementia. This was not a happy stage here. We were all wondering what the heck was going on. They slap these poor people in this place and there are not nearly enough aides to even come close to taking care of them. Mom was on a restricted diet-she had to have pureed food and thickened water (Yum! Sounds good doesn't it?)
The food was awful and after figuring out the rules, we brought food from home for her much of the time. She had therapy every week-day- physical therapy, Occupational therapy and speech therapy. She was not a happy girl with any of them, but did wind up improving. Larry went to the nursing home every day. Rain, shine, snow, sleet- Larry was there. I tried to make it for at least a couple of hours every day and became pretty adept at doing things for her. By January, I had moved down to Germantown so I didn't have to make the drive every day. This was fairly easy for me because I have no husband, no kids. I had been living at Katie's ( A story for another time) and we were selling on ebay as our winter source of income, so if there was a computer, I could work.
Mid- January, they said she was going to have to leave by the 1st week of February and where did we want her to go. Well, we want to take her home-Duh! Oh, you can't! She needs too much help, etc, etc. After you get to know me for awhile, you'll realize, you just can't tell me what I have to do because I will say-Oh Yeah? Watch me! So, we got the boys to build a ramp, we changed the toilet for a higher one that was easier to get on and off. We put grab bars everywhere, cleared the house of clutter and pulled up rugs and did everything we could to get the house ready. They came and checked it out and although they were not thrilled that we wanted her at home, they let us bring her, fully expecting us to call in a week and ask what do we do now.
Mom was so happy to be home, I think she slept for 2 days. Then the home therapy and visiting nurses started. We had some good ones and some bad ones. One lady came to help Mom bathe (Mom at this time weighed about 215lbs) and hefted her around,swearing and sweating up a storm(She was not a delicate flower of a woman herself) not considering the fact that MOM WAS PARALYSED ON HER LEFT SIDE AND COULDN'T MOVE!and the next day we get a call from the visiting nurse that in view of this Visiting scrub woman's opinion that Mom was recalcerant and wouldn't help or move, she should be put in a nursing home immediately and she was going to come out and investigate and make sure we were really up to the task of taking care of Mom. When the nurse came out, I gave her a piece of my mind after she checked Mom over and had Mom discharged from their care. What a BAG!
It was a day by day learning experience. Mom got fabulous care from all of us. Phrog found a used wheel chair lift that we installed in the van and we were mobile again, so we could take her to outside therapy and to the Drs office and most importantly-RUMMAGING! Not that she could get out of the van, but she sure loved to rummage (In fact on the way to the hospital when she had her stroke, she asked the driver to stop for any rummages on the way!)
It is a new way of life, but we are grateful that she is still with us and willing to figure it out as we go. But, in the meantime, Phrog's wife Nancy had been having some sort of problems with a recurring bladder infection (Is what the Doctor thought) and all of a sudden, on Easter weekend, her neck swells up. We all know that this is not good-This is what happened to Cindy when her (Again, this story will be told at a later date)cancer returned. They found out she had stage 4 non-Hodgkins Lynphoma. Not a good prognosis....It spread to her brain in July, the up side of that is it took out a lot of her short term memory so she couldn't remember a lot of what was going on.
I had Sarah's nursing clinic going on. I would dget Mom up and dressed and eating breakfast, then Phrog would drop off Nancy (She couldn't be alone because she would forget what she was supposed to be doing and go wander around outside-or worse- before they figured it out, she drove to a restaurant that they used to go to and she sat there waiting for Phrog, but couldn't remember her name or his or where she lived) In October she nearly died from blood clots, but came out of it enough to get sent to Virginia Highlands to get therapy because she was pretty weak and wobbly from almost dieing. We drove to Milwaukee every day to get radiation for her to keep the tumors from growing any more.
Everything was pretty status quo with Mom-we had several small emergencies, but nothing we couldn't handle and everyone focused on Nancy and helping Phrog (They were both 36 at the time)
At Christmas, Phrog got Nancy a tiny puppy who she named Elvis. Everyone loved Elvis. Even Mom wanted a little guy like him. On New Years Day, Phrog brought Elvis down in his kennel and asked me to watch him because Nancy couldn't walk with him darting between her feet and the next day, she was back in the hospital- they gave her about 1 month.
Phrog took her home and hospiced her. Not an easy thing for a young man to do, but, he really did such a wonderful job.
Anyhow....Back to Mom, it was a Saturday. I got her up and dressed. She was fine. Rolled her to the breakfast room, got her breakfast for her and then went up to shower and change myself. When I get back downstairs, she has cereal all over and her arm is dangling again. 911-ambulance to the hospital, they are trying to figure out what is going on. She is fine if she is laying flat and goes into spasms if her head is raised. No food, lots of tests. She is so scared, and we try to stay positive, but it is really hard and now I have a different Doctor trying to get me to sign the DNR orders. And I keep saying-If you can tell me what is going on and that she will not come out of it, I certainly will, but she is OK as long as she is flat, so I am not signing squat. Then 3 nights into the ordeal, the clot breaks loose and causes massive damage and they put her down in ICU and hook her up to all the machines...and we get the word that Nancy had passed away that night, while Mom had her stroke.
We got through Nancy's funeral and then decided that we would bring Mom home, so she could die here. It was set up and accomplished in mere hours. Her last trip to the house...and everyone came....and we had food...and we laughed...and cried...and believe it or not, we painted the living room chartreuse and red (She had been trying to get me to do it for months) And at 11:15 as I sat holding her hand and watching West Wing (Our favorite show), she peacefully went to see her parents and Daddy. And then we had another funeral.
So, that is how I came to be here. I am glad that I came. Glad that I had the chance to learn and grow as I have in the past years. I have come to understand myself a lot better . And as each day passes and Larry has some other issue pop up, I am glad that I can be here for him. He deserves someone to love him and to take care of him, not that the rest of the family doesn't love and care for him, I am just the one who, 24/7 is here. Through rain, sleet, snow and hail. I am here. And I am glad.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Saturday-We made it through another week!
So, it's been a long week for us! Sometimes it seems like we don't do a lot, but, it takes mucho mental energy to manage all of Larry's issues, the house, myself, the animals, learning how to blog!!!
A typical Monday goes like this- up at 5:30 am- get Larry up, leg on change from jammies into his clothing for dialysis (Comfortable, loose fitting and warm!) Walks w/walker to the bathroom, then to breakfast room, get weighed, check blood sugar and eat a bowl of cereal, maybe back to the bathroom if needs be and then into the wheel chair, where we have to bribe Elvis with a treat because he is always mad that he doesn't get to come along, then out to the van for the 2 mile (Thank-God it's so close!)drive to Dialysis, where Larry walks in with his walker, gets on the scale to check weight gain for their records, thermometer strip under tongue and walk to his chair. I take his walker and leave the wheelchair (Because his blood pressure is too low to walk safely after treatment) and go home. I do several things while he is in treatment- I clean the house, or do my exercising (I walk 4-5 times a week and do free weights and yoga ball to stay limber) and usually do most of my errand running-groceries, pick up meds, go to the post office-all those kinds of things. Then at 10:00 am I head over to pick him up. If they used his catheter he is almost always done by 10:15, if they use his fistula, it could be 11:30 before we get out of there. Then we head home, I wheel him in and he walks to the breakfast room to drink his protein shake, take his pills, read the newspaper, have his insulin shot, walk to the bathroom and then go lay down. Elvis generally takes his nap with Lar on the bed. Then I get him up between 1 and 2, feed him a light lunch, if we have medical appointments, I try to schedual them for after 2 so he gets a pretty good nap. If the weather is nice, I sit him outside and do my yard work, if it is not nice, he watches TV and I have to try to work on the computer while he has the TV blasting with all sorts of weird stuff! He surfs up and down and falls asleep at strange spots-like the senate hearings(UGGG!!!) or Telemundo (Nothing against it, just don't understand why he Always falls asleep there because he speaks not a tiny bit of Spanish!) wrestling, boxing- I listen to more baseball, football and golf than any woman should ever have to listen to. Anyhow, you get the picture. Then he naps again from 4:30 til about 6. If I didn't walk early, this is my chance to get my walk in. Then I make dinner(Which is not easy, especially on dialysis days because he is very nauseus and will throw up at the drop of a hat), get him up, feed him, sit outside for a little while if it is not too hot, then come in and turn on the TV for him, while I clean up the kitchen and then go upstairs to wash my face and have a little bit of deep breathing by myself. After which, we watch TV until about 10-10:30 and then to the bathroom, undress, jammies on, leg off, oxygen on, sleeping pills taken. Make sure he has a midnight cookie and his heavily iced water, that his liners and leg and slipper are ready to put on if he has to go bathroom. Make sure his glasses and phone (To page me if he needs me) are in the pouch that is always with him. Make sure doors that he may use are unblocked if he gets up and there are no obsticles on the floor. Lastly Elvis and Larry have their goodnight ritual and then Elvis and I head upstairs where I usually watch Jay for awhile before calling it a day.
When I write this, it seems like-Hey, that is not too bad a day! And, it really isn't-It just takes a whole bunch of patience (Believe me, I have developed patience!) because I have to stand and wait for him to do things at his pace. You can't rush him or everything totally falls apart and for most of the stuff he does, I have to be fairly close by because his balance is not so great, his endurance is nil and he has very little confidence in himself anymore. So that is a typical Monday. Oh yeh, and one more thing- with the heat and humidity of summer Larry gets very dehydrated easily, wobbly and gets heat related diahrea- just a few more things to factor in here.
Now, this past Monday at dialysis they drew labs and when they came back on Wednesday, Lar's white blood cell count was up. A HUGE area of concern-cause we don't need no stinking infection! So, I had to make an appointment with his primary and we had to go see her at 12:45. We were supposed to take a urine sample (To rule out a bladder infection) and get a chest xray. He couldn't pee, which did not worry me because he just had dialysis and had all of the fluid removed from him. So, they take the xray and can't tell if there is anything new going on in there because he always has fluid in one lung. So, they send us immediately (Do not pass go....) to the hospital to get a cat-scan done. We had to swing through Culver's to get fries for him and a burger for me because who knows how long it will take at the hospital. They do the scan relatively quickly and we get home by about 4:00 pm. He has to lay down and nap and this puts a cabosh on going to see his granddaughter Mickey play in her All-star softball game at 5:00pm. But if he doesn't get a rest, he gets dangerously wobbly and that is not good! Especially since Wednesday is my night out-I go meet 2 of my friends, usually at one of their houses for dinner or sometimes we go to a movie. But, Wednesday, in the summer is my night to be gone at least 3 hours and I don't want him really tired and wobbly while I am not there because it is not fun to get the call from him that he is on the floor. Anyone with an elderly relative knows that falls are never good and often very dangerous (And to top it off, he HAD just fallen last Saturday night (I mostly broke his fall from behind)and still is very shaken up by it). So, I got him set up with dinner and his ICE tea and went to Louise's to get eaten by mosquitos. When I got home he was fine and hadn't even gotten up, but was fairly wobbly when I put him to bed.
Thursday we went rummaging with Katie. Larry love rummaging-LOVES it! And Elvis always rides on his lap and loves it too. Katie had broken (More like smashed) her foot in May and had the hard cast taken off on Wed. and just had her soft boot on ( so she was pretty happy about that). We were rummaging for the last items that she was trying to find for Travis's new apartment in Atlanta, where he is going to graduate school for Physics/astronomy. It rained all morning and was very muggy so Lar wasn't feeling 100% so when we came home, he mostly rested all the rest of the day. And still no pee for the pee sample by days end.
By Friday, I am a bit concerned that he still hasn't peed but the nurses at dialsis are not worried and after getting back results on the culture that they drew Wednesday , figure out that yes, indeed, he has something going on so they have to hook him back up and give him the antibiotic through his catheter. Lar was very worried that they were going to put him in the hospital, so was more than happy to only have to sit for an extra hour to have the meds administered there. I was also pretty grateful that he didn't have to go have his catheter removed or anything like that. YAY! Hopefully this will take care of it, but I will keep an eagle-eye out- and by the way-still no pee! What's up with that???
And the best part as far as Larry is concerned, is we are going to watch Mickey play 2 games tonight, so, Life is good! What more can you ask for?
Over and out for today!
A typical Monday goes like this- up at 5:30 am- get Larry up, leg on change from jammies into his clothing for dialysis (Comfortable, loose fitting and warm!) Walks w/walker to the bathroom, then to breakfast room, get weighed, check blood sugar and eat a bowl of cereal, maybe back to the bathroom if needs be and then into the wheel chair, where we have to bribe Elvis with a treat because he is always mad that he doesn't get to come along, then out to the van for the 2 mile (Thank-God it's so close!)drive to Dialysis, where Larry walks in with his walker, gets on the scale to check weight gain for their records, thermometer strip under tongue and walk to his chair. I take his walker and leave the wheelchair (Because his blood pressure is too low to walk safely after treatment) and go home. I do several things while he is in treatment- I clean the house, or do my exercising (I walk 4-5 times a week and do free weights and yoga ball to stay limber) and usually do most of my errand running-groceries, pick up meds, go to the post office-all those kinds of things. Then at 10:00 am I head over to pick him up. If they used his catheter he is almost always done by 10:15, if they use his fistula, it could be 11:30 before we get out of there. Then we head home, I wheel him in and he walks to the breakfast room to drink his protein shake, take his pills, read the newspaper, have his insulin shot, walk to the bathroom and then go lay down. Elvis generally takes his nap with Lar on the bed. Then I get him up between 1 and 2, feed him a light lunch, if we have medical appointments, I try to schedual them for after 2 so he gets a pretty good nap. If the weather is nice, I sit him outside and do my yard work, if it is not nice, he watches TV and I have to try to work on the computer while he has the TV blasting with all sorts of weird stuff! He surfs up and down and falls asleep at strange spots-like the senate hearings(UGGG!!!) or Telemundo (Nothing against it, just don't understand why he Always falls asleep there because he speaks not a tiny bit of Spanish!) wrestling, boxing- I listen to more baseball, football and golf than any woman should ever have to listen to. Anyhow, you get the picture. Then he naps again from 4:30 til about 6. If I didn't walk early, this is my chance to get my walk in. Then I make dinner(Which is not easy, especially on dialysis days because he is very nauseus and will throw up at the drop of a hat), get him up, feed him, sit outside for a little while if it is not too hot, then come in and turn on the TV for him, while I clean up the kitchen and then go upstairs to wash my face and have a little bit of deep breathing by myself. After which, we watch TV until about 10-10:30 and then to the bathroom, undress, jammies on, leg off, oxygen on, sleeping pills taken. Make sure he has a midnight cookie and his heavily iced water, that his liners and leg and slipper are ready to put on if he has to go bathroom. Make sure his glasses and phone (To page me if he needs me) are in the pouch that is always with him. Make sure doors that he may use are unblocked if he gets up and there are no obsticles on the floor. Lastly Elvis and Larry have their goodnight ritual and then Elvis and I head upstairs where I usually watch Jay for awhile before calling it a day.
When I write this, it seems like-Hey, that is not too bad a day! And, it really isn't-It just takes a whole bunch of patience (Believe me, I have developed patience!) because I have to stand and wait for him to do things at his pace. You can't rush him or everything totally falls apart and for most of the stuff he does, I have to be fairly close by because his balance is not so great, his endurance is nil and he has very little confidence in himself anymore. So that is a typical Monday. Oh yeh, and one more thing- with the heat and humidity of summer Larry gets very dehydrated easily, wobbly and gets heat related diahrea- just a few more things to factor in here.
Now, this past Monday at dialysis they drew labs and when they came back on Wednesday, Lar's white blood cell count was up. A HUGE area of concern-cause we don't need no stinking infection! So, I had to make an appointment with his primary and we had to go see her at 12:45. We were supposed to take a urine sample (To rule out a bladder infection) and get a chest xray. He couldn't pee, which did not worry me because he just had dialysis and had all of the fluid removed from him. So, they take the xray and can't tell if there is anything new going on in there because he always has fluid in one lung. So, they send us immediately (Do not pass go....) to the hospital to get a cat-scan done. We had to swing through Culver's to get fries for him and a burger for me because who knows how long it will take at the hospital. They do the scan relatively quickly and we get home by about 4:00 pm. He has to lay down and nap and this puts a cabosh on going to see his granddaughter Mickey play in her All-star softball game at 5:00pm. But if he doesn't get a rest, he gets dangerously wobbly and that is not good! Especially since Wednesday is my night out-I go meet 2 of my friends, usually at one of their houses for dinner or sometimes we go to a movie. But, Wednesday, in the summer is my night to be gone at least 3 hours and I don't want him really tired and wobbly while I am not there because it is not fun to get the call from him that he is on the floor. Anyone with an elderly relative knows that falls are never good and often very dangerous (And to top it off, he HAD just fallen last Saturday night (I mostly broke his fall from behind)and still is very shaken up by it). So, I got him set up with dinner and his ICE tea and went to Louise's to get eaten by mosquitos. When I got home he was fine and hadn't even gotten up, but was fairly wobbly when I put him to bed.
Thursday we went rummaging with Katie. Larry love rummaging-LOVES it! And Elvis always rides on his lap and loves it too. Katie had broken (More like smashed) her foot in May and had the hard cast taken off on Wed. and just had her soft boot on ( so she was pretty happy about that). We were rummaging for the last items that she was trying to find for Travis's new apartment in Atlanta, where he is going to graduate school for Physics/astronomy. It rained all morning and was very muggy so Lar wasn't feeling 100% so when we came home, he mostly rested all the rest of the day. And still no pee for the pee sample by days end.
By Friday, I am a bit concerned that he still hasn't peed but the nurses at dialsis are not worried and after getting back results on the culture that they drew Wednesday , figure out that yes, indeed, he has something going on so they have to hook him back up and give him the antibiotic through his catheter. Lar was very worried that they were going to put him in the hospital, so was more than happy to only have to sit for an extra hour to have the meds administered there. I was also pretty grateful that he didn't have to go have his catheter removed or anything like that. YAY! Hopefully this will take care of it, but I will keep an eagle-eye out- and by the way-still no pee! What's up with that???
And the best part as far as Larry is concerned, is we are going to watch Mickey play 2 games tonight, so, Life is good! What more can you ask for?
Over and out for today!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Let's Start at the Very Beginning
Well, I told you that I would give you a little history, and I think that the best place to start, would be the very beginning!
My Grandpa was a Doctor and married my Grandma after he got back from WWI.
They built a brick Bungalow on a piece of land that was originally part of my Grandma's Dad's farm. Apparently much of the labor was done by people who owed Grandpa money for Doctoring, so they would come ply their trade instead of coming up with cash.
While it was being built, they lived in the little downtown area and opened a Doctor's office there and when it was done, they moved in with great fanfare and had wonderful gardens and flowers, orchards with all different fruits and even goats and bees.
When Grandma's mother passed, they had her father and his handyman move into
this house with them.In 1924, my Mom, Mary Ann was born. As an only child she was spoiled in certain respects and went to good schools. Mom was always very artistic and went for fashion design school, but alas...the war intervened. She met Kurt, my father while they were still in school. He enlisted in the Army Air force and when he came home on leave before shipping out, they got married.
KURT & MARY ANN
When he returned, they started to have kids and had my sister Cindy,
then Martha 2 years later and David
2 years after that. In 1956, shortly
after my birth, they moved into this
house to help take care of things because Grandpas health was staring to fail (From being gassed in France in WWI)
Then Katie was born in '57, Elizabeth (Or Biza as we all call her)
in '58, Andy in '60, John in '62, Tom in '63 and last but surely not least, Larry (Phrog to us) in '66. Phrog was kind of a surprise for Kurt and Mary Ann, because her Doctor (Who was also a good friend of the family)said she had gone through Menopause (early, I know, but, that is what he said) and that she couldn't possibly get pregnant.HAH!
Grandpa passed away in 1963 and then is was just
us and Grandma in this big brick house.Mostly, especially for us kids, life was pretty good....Grandma was never really happy with all the kids being popped out! She thought that sex was pretty much a sin and this wholesale enjoyment of it to procreate and have all these little Mary and Kurts was not a good thing- and constantly berated the folks as sex fiends and deviants and who knows what else. She was not a light and fluffy woman, Grandma wasn't. And considering the fact that she was well educated (College Graduate) and married to a Doctor, some of the stuff that she believed and told us as children is enough to make your hair stand on end! But, we mostly turned out fairly normal- I have friends who had way more messed up childhoods!
Mom had an Antique shop in the basement
and the barn and also had rough furniture in a barn at the top of the hill and a warehouse down the block. We all knew how to pack in and out of antique shows from diaper stage on and all of us could cook, clean, do laundry and take care of the younger kids from kindergarten on. Mom would have definitely been in big trouble if the laws of today, pertained back then. We were often home without any adult supervision. It was a totally different world back then, that's for sure.We also had a lake cottage, about 20 miles north and would get to go to the lake for most of the summer. That had to be the best part of growing up!
Grandma died in 1966, before Phrog was born and in later posting
we will get into other childhood stories, but now, we fast forward to 1988, Kurt died of a massive heart attack and Mom sells our Lake cottage and buys a place WAYYY up north, where she can also put a shop. Dried flowers and antiques no less.After several years, she marries a good friend, Lawrence(Larry) and they have many good years together up at the shop. Katie and I eventually start to go up and work at the shop during the summers and sell our artistic wares (Because, of course we inherited the artistic gene from Mom) and all is fairly well in our world.
But, as with everything, time marches on and Mom's health was not great and we were getting tired of having to take care of the place up north, the home here and our own places because Larry couldn't do alot by himself anymore. It just got to be too much! So, we gave Mom the choice- you have to sell one of the places. Heartbroken, she sold the place up north. We had a terrible, lost tons of money auction to close out the shop and came home. As we were getting them settled in, Mom had a very serious stroke.I moved home to help and we cared for her until her passing in 2003 here at the house.
After she was gone, I stayed here with Larry because he
was so lonely and sad. At this point, there was nothing really wrong with Lar, he had type 2 diabetes, but was otherwise in good shape. Still worked on furniture, went golfing, went to football games. He was just starting to come out of his funk when he came in one night and said he didn't feel good and just sat in his chair. I thought maybe he was coming down with the flu....nothing serious. About 2 weeks later, his legs fill up with water. Uh-oh! Off to the Doctor, he says-uhhh-Heart Failure. Now, you have to understand, at this point, although I had been a kick-ass representative for Mom when she was sick, Larry being sick is the furthest thing from my mind....So, the Dr. prescribes Furosemide and Potassium- does not do any other tests, no EKG. Alright. We go home and he starts to take the pills. 2 weeks later he can't sit- he can't stand- he can't lay down- he is panting and sweating and now I am panicked! SHIT! So, I call my sister and her husband and they come pick us up in her Caravan, in the fog and haul us to the hospital. Where they say he had had a heart attack awhile back (probably when he came in not feeling good) and now the potassium had backed up and his kidneys had shut down. And they have nothing to treat kidney failure at this hospital. So....they have to stabilize him as best they can and ambulance us to the big city. Long story short- he is in for 18 days, kidneys aren't great, but come back enough that he doesn't have to be on dialysis, so we get to take him home with a defib/pace maker implanted,many medications, 3 new doctors and a presciption to start cardiac rehab.
He does really well at rehab (After they finally convince him that doing light exercise and walking will not kill him), but at the last week before graduation, he develops a small blister on his baby toe that opens up into a large open sore. We go all summer to the foot doctor and it will not heal. Finally, it winds up getting infected and they have to chop 'er off. Unfortunately, when they did, they bound the foot a little too tight for someone with poor circulation and the foot turned black from gangrene and finally they had to amputate it.
So now, the poor guy is footless and in rehab where they teach a 79 year old 240 lb man to hop around on one foot. He did it- it wasn't easy, by any means, but he did do it and eventually got his prosthetic leg and after many months of therapy, walks purty darn good. And got down to about 210 lbs to boot! YAY!!!
Then we go to a new heart doctor and she says "We have been getting great results with people with heart failure in heart failure clinic, where they infuse drugs into the body and it helps the heart pump more efficiently. OK-off we go. Unfortunately, then he starts backing up fluid- to the tune of 1 lb a day-all of a sudden he is over 240 again and when we go to the new kidney Dr. he says dialysis is a must. So he gets a catheter implanted and now 3 days a week- dialysis here Larry comes.
And now you have a general background for the story. So, we will talk again soon!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Life in the Slow Lane-Taking Care of Larry
Hi there everyone! My name is Sarah. I live in my old family home and take care of my 81 year old Step-Father, Larry, 5 cats and a Pomeranian named Elvis.
Larry was pretty healthy and independent until about 3 1/2 years ago and now health issues have been creeping in. I'll give everyone a little history as we go, so you can see some of the things he faces and maybe our way of handling things will help you in your endeavors to keep your Mom and or Dad independent and happy.
I think that overall, he is in pretty good shape for the shape he is in and count our blessings every day. So many people have it so much worse and frankly, Life is too short to bitch and moan "poor me". No one except the Big Guy upstairs knows when you are ending your time on this big blue ball, so you just have to do the best that you can every day and enjoy life....enjoy the things you do and the people you meet.
That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it!
Anyhow, Have a great day! I will try to figure out links etc. and then post some more!
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