Well, Thursday I had to take Larry back to the hospital.
He got up and I took him to therapy Thursday am. He was a little off- didn't feel quite right, but- it's Larry and he almost always says that he doesn't feel good.
Ok- we get back from therapy and I let him nap. Get him up for lunch- he is still not feeling good. He says that he is very cold and feels weak and wobbly- I pretty much ignore that because he ALWAYS complains that he is feeling weak and that his legs are wobbly. At 3:00 I let him lay back down for a nap and when I went to get him up at 5:00, he couldn't stand up. That is NEVER good. Now, I know that- alright, he wasn't just complaining, but something is really going on. Now- do I take him to the Dr. or the Emergency room? I call the clinic to find out how late they are there. 8:00 pm. Great! I explain the situation, they transfer me to the Dr.'s nurse Heide. Explain the situation to her and my dilemma- Clinic or emergency room I ask. "Hold on" she says. Goes and has a confab with the doc, comes back on the line- "Dr. Miller agrees with you- she would probably send him to the emergency room after she saw him anyways, so head for the emergency room."
Now.....It just snowed all afternoon....then it got really COLD! The car doors were frozen shut. I got one open and got the van running to thaw out. Finally, I get Lar transfered to the wheelchair (He could not walk at all, and could just barely stand), coat on, hat on, bundled under a blanket, bed buddy heated up and around his shoulders and out we go into the swirling snow.
What was I thinking? He could not stand because it was very slippery all around the car. Hmmm....I pulled the floor mat out and threw it on the ground. Perfect! Worked great! Still wasn't a piece of cake getting him standing, but at least his feet wouldn't slip out from under him. We roll up to the emergency room and do the car mat trick in reverse. Get him chaired and rolled to the door. SHOOT! Forgot the dang mat on the ground! Run back to the car and scoop the mat into the car. Run back and finish getting Larry into Triage.
We had the best nurse in emergency. She was really great and made the time go quickly, but it was still 10:00 before we were in a room- this time it was in ICU because they were a little worried about his blood pressures which were hovering around 68 over 35 ish. A wee bit low- even for Mr. Larson who normally runs about 88 over 45. And I was so hungry by the time I left at 10:30 ish, that I drove through Taco Bell- haven't had Taco Bell in a longggg time.
So, after all the tests- some of whose results are still not in- but the conclusion that they have reached is- the c-diff is back. So, we all had to wear the lovely yellow isolation gowns in his room. They classy thing about the ICU is they bring the dialysis equipment up to you and dialysis you right in the room. So,Larry and Phrog and the dialysis tech (very nice lady)sat and watched old movies while he dialysed. That made Larry happy. They keep saying they are going to move him out of ICU, but still haven't.
He just called me and they finally transfered him up to the MCU floor and he is now in room 226. We are not sure when they are going to release him. I am hoping Monday or Tuesday- not tomorrow. We will see what they say in the morning. Phrog is taking the first shift tomorrow, so Elvis and I can sleep in. YAY! And it is still supposed to be this cold tomorrow! Not looking forward to that. I can't imagine the Packers and the Giants playing in this weather! I LIVE in Wisconsin for the crying out loud, and I'll tell you- IT'S COLD!!!!! I went to get the mail and my hands were numb. How can you catch a football in that? Well, it will be fun to watch! Go Pack!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Let's Keep Our Fingers Crossed!!!
Well, Larry finished the Vancomycin last night. When he did a stool sample on the 31st, it came back negatorie for the c-diff, but the Doc wanted us to use the 10 day course of Vanco to make sure that it really, truly was gone. We will keep our fingers and toes crossed!!!
Between the c-diff and the vanco, Larry was pretty wobbly. One of the more serious side effects is muscle weakness. We all discussed it and decided that the pros were much higher using the vanco to get rid of the c-diff, than stopping and trying to find a different antibiotic that would do the job and keep it gone- AND not have any bad side effects too.
So-I have had 10 days of Larry feeling not so red hot. The bad part about it is, when he is this wobbly, I can't leave him alone for any real length of time, so that I can go decompress. Not really great for my mental health, but you do what you have to do and roll with the punches. I have done a lot of meditation the last week-OMMMM- and laundry....in the basement..... with Pewter (you KNOW that I need to get away when I hide out in the basement!)
The really good news is, he is starting to feel a little better and I can tell that he is a little stronger. His knees are not buckling as much- only every once in a while instead of 8 times from the bedroom to the bathroom. So, I said to him- "Wow! Isn't it nice that you are doing better? You haven't had your knees collapse all morning?" And he says-
"No! I am not doing better. I am still very weak and see how my legs still collapse? That is NOT better!"
"Well, Lar, you seem way more stable and not nearly as wobbly"
"I AM NOT! See???Look!!! My legs just buckled right there! You just don't know how frightening it is! I never know when they are going to go! I am not doing any better!"
And it is true- I DO know how frightening it is for him to have his knees buckle and almost fall, but you have to keep going- BECAUSE the buckling is from being so WEAK! I do not know why he can not correlate that into his equation. Not gonna stop collapsing unless you get stronger- that takes exercise. HELLO. He still argues with me about that- that exercise is not helping him at all. sighhhhhh
I keep reassuring him that everything is going to be OK, you are getting stronger again. It just takes some effort and time.
Then he will tell me- no, it's not getting any better and none of this is doing any good.
Then I say- you are getting stronger. Slowly. But, it is improvement. You just have no room built in for any thing that makes you weaker. One day of not feeling good, wipes out all of the stamina that you had built up. It isn't quick, it isn't easy, but you have to keep going if you don't want to be completely unable to move at all. Dependant on others to do everything- and then, we would have to reevaluate whether you can be at home anymore if you are going to be completely immobile.
Then, he usually starts crying and telling me I am being mean and he is trying to do everything I say.
I am not trying to be mean-He does not get that he has to do this stuff for HIMSELF. Not for me...not for Phrog... not for anyone except himself. If it were really beyond his capabilities, I would certainly figure out other ways to compensate for the things that he can't do. I cut him way too much slack over the last year, after he started dialysis. I let him sit and not do anything. It was not good for either of us and the result of my letting him slack off, is his weakness. His legs were so weak, they were buckling all the time. He can barely raise either of his arms. That is why we restarted therapy. But- HE HAS TO DO IT FOR HIMSELF! And he doesn't get that.
Well, tomorrow is another day. And hopefully, it will be a day when he is a little stronger- and the next day, a little stronger...and pretty soon, the wobbly, weakness, will be a distant memory.
Between the c-diff and the vanco, Larry was pretty wobbly. One of the more serious side effects is muscle weakness. We all discussed it and decided that the pros were much higher using the vanco to get rid of the c-diff, than stopping and trying to find a different antibiotic that would do the job and keep it gone- AND not have any bad side effects too.
So-I have had 10 days of Larry feeling not so red hot. The bad part about it is, when he is this wobbly, I can't leave him alone for any real length of time, so that I can go decompress. Not really great for my mental health, but you do what you have to do and roll with the punches. I have done a lot of meditation the last week-OMMMM- and laundry....in the basement..... with Pewter (you KNOW that I need to get away when I hide out in the basement!)
The really good news is, he is starting to feel a little better and I can tell that he is a little stronger. His knees are not buckling as much- only every once in a while instead of 8 times from the bedroom to the bathroom. So, I said to him- "Wow! Isn't it nice that you are doing better? You haven't had your knees collapse all morning?" And he says-
"No! I am not doing better. I am still very weak and see how my legs still collapse? That is NOT better!"
"Well, Lar, you seem way more stable and not nearly as wobbly"
"I AM NOT! See???Look!!! My legs just buckled right there! You just don't know how frightening it is! I never know when they are going to go! I am not doing any better!"
And it is true- I DO know how frightening it is for him to have his knees buckle and almost fall, but you have to keep going- BECAUSE the buckling is from being so WEAK! I do not know why he can not correlate that into his equation. Not gonna stop collapsing unless you get stronger- that takes exercise. HELLO. He still argues with me about that- that exercise is not helping him at all. sighhhhhh
I keep reassuring him that everything is going to be OK, you are getting stronger again. It just takes some effort and time.
Then he will tell me- no, it's not getting any better and none of this is doing any good.
Then I say- you are getting stronger. Slowly. But, it is improvement. You just have no room built in for any thing that makes you weaker. One day of not feeling good, wipes out all of the stamina that you had built up. It isn't quick, it isn't easy, but you have to keep going if you don't want to be completely unable to move at all. Dependant on others to do everything- and then, we would have to reevaluate whether you can be at home anymore if you are going to be completely immobile.
Then, he usually starts crying and telling me I am being mean and he is trying to do everything I say.
I am not trying to be mean-He does not get that he has to do this stuff for HIMSELF. Not for me...not for Phrog... not for anyone except himself. If it were really beyond his capabilities, I would certainly figure out other ways to compensate for the things that he can't do. I cut him way too much slack over the last year, after he started dialysis. I let him sit and not do anything. It was not good for either of us and the result of my letting him slack off, is his weakness. His legs were so weak, they were buckling all the time. He can barely raise either of his arms. That is why we restarted therapy. But- HE HAS TO DO IT FOR HIMSELF! And he doesn't get that.
Well, tomorrow is another day. And hopefully, it will be a day when he is a little stronger- and the next day, a little stronger...and pretty soon, the wobbly, weakness, will be a distant memory.
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